My New Gig

Y'all, every time I start to doubt...every...time...I am reminded that God, the Source, Universe - whatever you want to call it - has my back. It really is the source of everything good, all abundance flows to me through it. I don't know why I doubt when I know that this is true. I have been reminded over and over again, and will continue to be reminded every time I doubt. All I have to do is ask.

Oh, and by the way, I'm going to post some happy photos throughout this post today to make up for the sad photo I posted last week. I had so much feedback from people telling me how sad it made them to see the cryey face. I gave you no warning! People aren't used to the cryey face, because it usually only happens at home. I wanted y'all to see the real, though. I wanted you to know that you're not the only one who breaks down. It happens to all of us occasionally. It's the bounce back that really matters, though. What comes from those break downs is way more important than the break down itself.

I have a condo in Hendersonville that I have been renting out for the last couple years, just enough to cover the expenses of the condo. I had discussed the move-out date situation with the current tenants and they asked if they could stay another month. When it came time for them to pay the additional month's rent, I found out that two of the three tenants had already moved out and the third had decided to move out on the original end date for the lease. This fell within the 30 day notice period that was required by the lease, so I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't start to freak out immediately, but when the mortgage came due and I didn't have the rent money to pay it, I started to question. I learn something new with every tenant who I work with, and this time, I'm making the notice period 60 days to give me a little more leeway to get a new tenant in there. Since I'm also getting better at managing my budget, this will be the last time I have this problem, I'm sure. All that to say that I posted an ad for a new tenant and had five showings lined up within a day of posting the ad. I found an amazing tenant with a full time job and no roommates who will be moving in mid-August. We signed a lease yesterday and the deposit has been paid in full. It's super exciting!

In more exciting news, I started teaching a new class that's 5 miles from my house on Monday. It's at an amazing gym that offers yoga Monday thru Thursday and personal training most days. Summit Fitness + Sports Performance is a Cross Fit certified gym that has a yoga studio right next door. I'll be teaching anywhere from 2-5 classes each week there starting in August. My classes will be Monday, Tuesday and Friday at 6:30 pm, and we're going to look into adding morning classes over the next couple of weeks. If you haven't already, head over and "Like" their Facebook page, too, at www.facebook.com/summitfitnessandsportsperformance. It's just a couple guys pursuing their dreams just like me and you.

In case you're wondering, I haven't forgotten about Run❤️Yoga❤️Love. It's on the back burner for now. Once I get these changes under my belt, we're going to figure out how to resurrect our weekly runs. We may even do a beginners series starting in September. Keep your eyes peeled!

For now, though, there are already some amazing options for running in Nashville. I've committed to run all 12 of the Wednesday night runs with East Nasty, and you can keep up with them here: www.facebook.com/eastnasty.  I usually start with the slowest group and end up walking most of it. If you ever want to join me, reach out! Also, if you haven't heard about the Germantown Running Club, head on over to their page to read about their Tuesday night runs: www.facebook.com/germantownrunning. Nashville Running Company has runs through the week, too, with their East or West locations: http://www.nashvillerunning.com/weekly-runs/. Fleet Feet has some weekly runs posted on their website, too! http://www.fleetfeetnashville.com/events/weekly-runs. So many options! I hope to see you out on a run soon!

I'm so grateful for you and your continued support. Have I told you lately that I love you? I really do.

And the question for today is...What would it take for you to take a yoga class? Or schedule a private yoga session? Why haven't you tried it yet? What's keeping you from practicing with me? I would love to hear from you!

Much love,
Emily Rose

Don't Go Down There! It's Dark and Scary!

I'm sure you've heard this before from your mom or grandma or babysitter or maybe just some random adult type who happened to be passing by when you were considering crawling through that storm drain when you were little. Or maybe you were like me and storm drains and clowns scared the crap out of you because you watched Stephen King's "It" with your older brother. I mean, seriously, I couldn't sleep at night with that book on my shelf staring at me. But I digress.

I've been spending a lot of time in deep thought recently, trying to figure out my next step and which idea to grab onto and run with. Well, while I was thinking, it occurred to me that I was on one path for a long time, and it was the path that was well-traveled, safe and secure. It turned out not to be so great, and along the way, I've had moments where I could have chosen another path, maybe one that was a little dark and scary and unknown. I didn't choose those paths, because I listened to the people around me and avoided the dark and scary and unknown. I'm realizing now, though, that even though those paths were dark and scary and unknown, they're nothing compared to the work I've done over the last couple years, hacking my way through the deep woods without even a tiny little path to follow and some crazy noises and lions and tigers and bears, oh my! So this is what it looked like in my head as I was having this stream of thought.

Crazy, huh? And that little heart there is me.

When we start our lives, we have all of this information that we bring in with us, mainly unconditional love and joy and wonderment at the world around us. As we grow older, we have people instill a healthy (or sometimes not so healthy) fear of certain things in our lives. Healthy fears are the ones where they tell us not to touch the stove because it's hot or not to cross the road when there's a car coming. Healthy, right?

Okay, so for unhealthy fears, I'm thinking things like, "Don't talk to strangers." Yes, sometimes that's good, but not all strangers are bad. And how many times have you not talked to someone who might change your life for the good just because they were a stranger? There's no way to know, right? Other unhealthy fears are not being good enough at what we're trying to do or not being loved or not having enough or whatever it is that's keeping you from choosing the path and the purpose that you came here to live. Anyway, here we are at the start of our journey, choosing the path of love (my path) or the path of fear (the path well-traveled).

Yikes! Which path do we choose??

For most of my generation and the generations before me, the choice was the path well-traveled. We went down that path and made money and bought the things everyone told us we needed like a car and a house (so that we could be stable and secure and be able to drive to the job that we have to have in order to pay for the things that we have) and other things we accumulate along the way. We may hit some bumps in the road that come at just the right time to choose that dark, scary path through the woods, but it's dark and scary and unknown and we've been warned about those paths. There are things down those paths that could hurt us. Murderers hiding in the bushes or poisonous snakes or spiders or tree frogs! So we continue down the well-traveled path.

Don't go down that path!

As we continue down that well-traveled path, maybe we start to realize that we don't feel quite right. (Or if you're like me, don't feel at all.) One day, we may get a blow to the gut so intense that we start to wake up, to look at things that are happening around us and to us and realize that even though we created this life, it isn't exactly what we want right now. For me, that blow to the gut was the day I found out that my ex-husband was posting and replying to personal ads on Craigslist. As I read through email after email after email (some with pictures!), I literally felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. That was my wake up call. I was already seeing a therapist at this point, so she helped me through the emotions that came up through all of this. Between her, my yoga instructors, acupuncturist and energy healer, I waded through it.

It may be something completely different for you. I hope it is! Maybe it's something a little less dramatic, or maybe you're paying a little more attention to the signs along the way that tell you not to fall asleep at the wheel. Or maybe it's something worse, but I promise you that someone has been there before, right where you are. And this brings us to our second dark, scary path. Do you stay? Or do you go? Do you stay in this life that you've chosen, on this well-traveled path because at least you know what it looks like? Or do you leave and choose the unknown, dark, scary path?

Do I stay or do I go?

I chose to stay. I chose to see if we could work it out. Maybe he would change. Maybe I could be okay with it. Maybe things will get better if I just keep working on myself and finding who I am, that beautiful soul who has been covered up with layers and layers of other people's beliefs of who I should be. But what about what I want? When I did my exercises and worked on myself at home, he got upset because he said they were making me self-centered. What he didn't realize was that that was the point. I wasn't going to live my life for someone else anymore. I wanted to live it for me. At this point, I had missed my next (and last??) dark, scary cut through path that would lead me to my path.

Oh no! Now what do I do??

I could hear the wolves howling in the distance, but friends held my hand as I made the decision to cut through the deep woods to find my way to my path. It's been quite the journey, let me tell you. At first it was light brush, nothing I couldn't navigate. Eventually, though, I got into the deep stuff, with vines growing everywhere that I had to break through. I lost a lot of people along the way. There was no way they were walking through these woods with me. Some of them have come back in one way or another as I'm hacking my way through.

The healing I've done along the way has been riddled with dark and scary things from my past that I had completely forgotten about. Repeating patterns have been exposed to me over and over until I chose to respond to them in different ways. But I'll tell you what...those layers and layers of beliefs have lifted. The layers of protection I had placed over my heart have peeled back one by one and revealed my true desires, my true self. The self I knew when I was a child.

I'm coming out of the darkness now, and one thing that I've realized is that those wolves howling in the distance is my pack, my tribe, whatever you choose to call them. I didn't meet them until after I made that decision to dive into the deep end. They showed up and lit up my life and we have helped each other lift those layers and discover who we truly are. They're those people in my life who have looked at me in all my imperfection and darkness and loved me anyway. They're the people I can't imagine my life without, the people I can see myself growing old with. The sense of acceptance and community that I feel even when we're not together has been the light that I've carried with me through the darkest spots in the woods.

Hanging out with my pack in the woods

I can see the light now, and the brush is getting thinner again. I know that I'm coming out of the woods and onto the path that I'm meant to be on. The end goal is getting more and more clear, and the only thing that's really clear right now is that it will be full of love and community and water. There will be water, and a lot of it. A large body of water of some type. I'm being called back to it now. I feel calm when I think of it, and my next journey will be a journey of discovery to find that place where I'm meant to settle down and grow my roots.

Not the end, but the place where my heart will live forever.

I know that that place will be a place of unconditional love and acceptance, both for myself and for others. I hope that you'll join me on this path! And know that as you run away from that well-traveled path that maybe you're not running away so much as running toward the place you're meant to be.

I wish I could give credit to the person who created this, but I have no idea where it came from!

I want to leave you with this. Just because something is unknown does not mean it's bad or wrong. I encourage you to take that dark scary path, because going through the deep woods is not fun. However, if you find yourself there in those deep dark woods, know that you're not alone. You have a pack, a tribe, who has been there waiting for you, and ya know what?? They have a flashlight!

Thank you so much for coming with me on this journey!

Much love,

Emily Rose

P.S. I want to give mad props to my amazing Auntee C for the beautiful ceramic heart that was a gift to me and I love it with all of my hearts! You can see more of her beautiful work here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Charlotte-Barber-Wiley-Pottery/116116151757124

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

They just keep on comin! I've made yet another move into what we're calling the Summer Home. I moved in with Beck. To some, that may seem like a big move, a huge commitment to move in with someone. For those of you who know me at all or have been reading this blog for any significant amount of time, you've probably already figured out that commitment is something I struggle with right now. We're getting around this by saying it's just temporary. Hence, this is my home for the summer. In August, Beck will be moving to Cookeville, and then I will have another decision to make about whether to go with him, stay here in Nashville, or find a new home altogether. Bali is looking pretty amazing right now. Just sayin....

I knew that I was making the right move when I was on the verge of cancelling my Thumbtack account and had a request from someone in White House, approximately 6 miles from my new front door. It turned out that they're musicians who travel a lot for work, but when they're home, they want me to teach them yoga as much as possible. That was pretty life-affirming, not just in my decision to move to White House, but also in my decision to become a yoga teacher. I don't know why it makes a difference, but when someone of this stature decides to put their body and spiritual development in your hands for an hour when they're at home for such short amounts of time, it makes you think, "Hm, maybe this really is where I'm meant to be."

I feel that way every time I end a class, too. I am so humbled by the gratitude that people express on their way out, when people tell me they feel like they've just gotten a massage, when people grow on their mats. It fills my heart with love and gratitude that my path has brought me here. I've said all along that I don't feel like this is my final resting spot, but it's a pretty amazing stepping stone.

Another change that has come into my life over the last few months is the opening of the Nashville Center for Alternative Therapy (NCAT).  NCAT is a one stop shop for alternative healing modalities. They have massage, acupuncture, yoga, energy work, hypnosis, sound therapy, and so much more. The things they don't have in-house, they have a network they can refer you to. I have "office" hours there every Friday from 1-8 pm! I'm taking on clients who want to use yoga or energy work to heal their bodies and minds. It's such a great spot to be, and I'm so grateful to the owners for their love and support as I'm growing my practice.

I can't help but acknowledge another major milestone that passed last month. I quit my job as an engineer in February 2014, and almost a year later, I'm actually able to pay most of my bills with yoga and energy work. Granted I've simplified my life and purged unneccessary items, services and expenses, but I'm making it work. Eventually, I know that as my practice and clientele grows, I'll be able to add those things back in. For now, though, I'm happy with where I am and where I'm headed. I hope you are, too! I'm so grateful that I get to wake up every day and help someone, even (especially??) if that someone is me.

I also have a new beautiful little being in my life. My niece was born in early February to my brother and his beautiful wife. She and my nephew are such beautiful little beings, and they have amazing parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles to love them and teach them the ways of the world. Their smiles melt my heart, and I love being able to spend time with them!

Oh, and one more thing that I want to share about my move to White House, is that it's in the country, y'all! White House is country. There are fields with cattle and cute little white farm houses and just amazing things all around me. I went to high school in New Harmony, Indiana, a small town in the middle of the corn fields and cattle farms in the southwest corner of Indiana, and being out here feels closer to being me than I have in a long time. Here's a beautiful photo I took on my run along the country roads a couple weeks ago.

Also, I'm making things. I crocheted a pretty cool hat that I gave to my sister for the cold spell we had here in middle Tennessee, and just this past Saturday, I went to visit my mom, who was cleaning out her closet. She found a sweatshirt from a trip my high school took to Washington DC for the 1997 inauguration, and tried to give it to me. She knew I am living a more simple life now, so she wasn't offended when I said no, but couldn't bring herself to get rid of it. My brain started rolling, and I was like, "Maybe we could make a pillow out of it." An hour later, we had this:

It's now sitting on my couch, and is pretty comfy. I had no idea I could make a pillow that quickly! I'm so grateful to my grandma and mom for teaching me how to sew when I was little. Grams also taught me to crochet, although I use the internet to find a lot of the patterns now. It's amazing the things you can do when you put your mind to it. We're such strong, powerful creators when we just open ourselves up and let it flow. Just do it!

I'm going to leave you with this St. Patrick's Day blessing to pay homage to my Irish roots:

May your troubles be less

And your blessings be more

And may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Love,

Emily Rose

Yoga and Meditation Opportunities with Emily Rose:

Tuesdays 7 pm NCAT Yoga - $12

Thursdays 6 pm NCAT Meditation - suggested love offering $5-10

Fridays 1-8 pm Private Yoga or Energy Sessions - $40 if you mention this blog

Saturdays 7 am Run<3Yoga<3Love Ampitheater at Bicentennial Mall - FREE

Saturdays 4:30 pm Gentle Hot Yoga at Kali Yuga Yoga in East Nashville - $13 drop-in

And COMING SOON: Spring into Kundalini Yoga 11:30 am at Kali Yuga Yoga (a six week introduction to Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan) - $13 drop-in/$60 series

The Love of a Sister

I've had the joy this week of reconnecting with my many sisters in this life in one way or another.  My blood sister has started dating again, and she's coming to me for advice.  It's drawing us together in a way that I never thought possible for so many reasons, starting with the one where I told my parents to take her back the first time I met her in the hospital.  I don't know what was going through my 2 1/2 year old mind when I said that, but that's the mentality that has stuck with me and a stigma that has tainted my relationship with my sister for the last 32 years.

My family moved around a lot when I was growing up.  I had friends, but they came and went a lot.  I still see some of them occasionally, but the constant people in my life were my parents, my big brother (who I had an amazing relationship with) and my little sister (who was always someone I tolerated being around).  Growing up, I always found it easier to relate with my brother.  He talked enough for the both of us (I was always quiet and shy growing up), and was there for me when I needed help or needed someone to stand up for me.

My little sister was just a pest who took Mom and Dad's attention away from me, and I was a princess and deserved all of their attention!  Haha!  At least that's what my little child self always thought (maybe even still thinks??).  I built up a resentment toward my sister that usually resulted in me hurting her either physically or emotionally and then going out for a run to burn off the remaining anger I felt toward her.  Everyone always told me that as we grew up, we would grow closer, but that just never happened for us.  In my mind, she would always be that spoiled little child who demanded all of Mom and Dad's attention and love.

While I "grew up," got my degree, got a "real" job, got married, and settled into a life of goals and ambitions, I watched her struggle to find her footing jumping from one job to the next, living off (and with) mom and dad and continuing to demand all of their attention and love even as an adult.  I continued to water the resentment I held toward her and allowed it to grow into the light.

When I started seeing a therapist and started really diving into the issues with my sister, I actually started talking about the resentment I had toward her.  I would openly tell her and anyone else who would listen how miserable I was because of her.  This only started to lighten when she started to "grow up."  She really started working on herself and figured out what she wanted to do with her life.  She wanted to go to nanny school.  At this point, Mom and Dad were refusing to pay for yet another round of training for a job she would work for a few months and realize that it wasn't what she wanted to do.  For some reason, it felt right for me to help her.  I cosigned on a student loan for her to attend English Nanny and Governess School, and she went through with it.  I was so proud of her the day I went up to Chagrin Falls, Ohio to watch her graduate and get her Nanny Certification.  She got an amazing job with a family in Chicago, and I really felt like she was getting her life together.  There were a couple of hiccups along the way, but she stuck with the nanny gig and was really good at it.

When I got divorced and quit my job, however, I started to resent her again, because she lived off my parents for so long.  When I wanted their help, though, they told me to get a job or maybe I shouldn't have quit the job I had.  I couldn't understand why it was okay for her to work through all of her stuff with their help, and it wasn't okay for me to be without a job and try to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.  And one day, they started helping me.  They bought me food and toilet paper and paper towels, and asked what else I needed.  This somehow helped to melt away some of the resentment I felt toward my sister.

Then, she started going to school.  She had tried school before that didn't last, so I wasn't sure how serious she was this time.  For some reason, though, this time was different.  She's finishing up her second semester, and I couldn't be more proud of her for the woman she's becoming.  She even helped me get a job as a nanny to an adorable little boy who I'm helping raise into an amazing and loving toddler.  She started dating recently and reached out to me for advice, and I feel like we're finally starting to relate the way that sisters are meant to relate.

On Sunday, we went to breakfast and then to service at the Center for Spiritual Living Nashville.  One of the songs that they sang during service was "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips.  I don't know a single 30-something girl who didn't have that song on cassette when they were little, not to mention the amazing homage to the song at the end of the movie "Bridesmaids".  Let me interject by saying that every service I have been to at the Center has made me cry at least once; tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of loss, tears at how beautiful the young souls are who get up and do their affirmations at the beginning of service and then the song about them being a big, shiny light that we sing as they leave to go off to their youth activities during the rest of service.

Well, of course "Hold On" made me cry, because for some reason, this was the week that I felt like I needed a break from all of the work I was doing.  I am scared shitless about the journey I am embarking on as I go into another Kundalini training weekend followed by a week at Kundalini Winter Solstice Sadhana Celebration, not to mention not knowing where my life is going.  When they sang the words, "I know that there is pain, but you hold on for one more day, and you break free from the chains," I couldn't help but tear up knowing that it was a sign that my time is coming.  Every sign I've gotten this week has told me this same thing; given me this same message.  At the end of service, they always sing a song as people are walking out, and "Hold On" was that song.  My sister and I channeled our inner "bridesmaids" and joined the Music Ministry as we danced along in our pew, a little more of that resentment melting away.  I think that might have been the closest I've ever felt to my sister, and I'm glad to have deepened that bond.

Today, I shared that same love with a different kind of sister, a soul sister.  We all have people who we come into this life knowing, and I have had the wonderful opportunity to reconnect with many of my soul sisters, thanks to a beautiful soul named Kim Salter, who facilitates a Sisterhood Circle in East Nashville.  It is a beautiful gathering of sensitive, strong and amazing women who come together to hold space for each other and really listen in a way that facilitates healing.  This is an amazing group, because how often are you really heard in your life?  As someone working on my expression and opening myself and my voice, it is very important for me to feel heard at a soul level.  These women offer that for me, and the friendships and bonds extend out past the weekly circle, as well.  If this is something you feel is missing in your life, you can learn more about Circle on Kim's LIFE.Designed Facebook page here.

I also had the amazing opportunity today to connect with two of my friends from my engineering days who have seen me through a lot of the inner turmoil and helped me through the worst days and still love and support me through the changes I'm experiencing in my life.  I'm so grateful to have such amazing friends and such amazing lunches to remind me of that connection.  The friendship I share with those women is so much more than any of the friendships I've ever had, and I'm so grateful for the growth I've gotten to witness in their lives and relationships.

And coming back to that little bit where I talked about messages and signs that have come to me this week, I want to talk a little bit about RunYogaLove.  Beck and I have been running almost every Saturday since I started it in September in the hopes that someone will join us.  It hasn't been a big deal that we haven't had others with us yet, because it was kind of fun having each other to run with and having him there made me feel less tied to any kind of results or growth or expectations I had in starting it.

The last two weekends, however, Beck ran in a half marathon and went to visit family, so I ran by myself.  I used to love running by myself.  It was a fun way for me to explore the city and enjoy the weather and the scenery.  For some reason, the last two Saturdays were really hard for me and brought up a lot of my feelings of not being enough.  Am I not trying hard enough to spread the word?  Am I not likeable enough for people to want to run with me?

Before you freak out and start reaching out to make sure I'm okay, I know this is not true.  I know that I am enough and that I am beautiful and perfect in every way.  We all have our moments, though, right?  It triggered a lot of my "not enough" mentality that I have struggled with most of my life.  It has been a great opportunity for me to work on that, and I am so appreciative that I have had that opportunity.  As I was questioning why I'm doing it, I kept getting the message that I should keep going.  Keep running.  Keep showing up.

I'm ready for you to join me, though!  I will be in teacher training this weekend and out of town December 14-25, but I look forward to seeing you all on the road at 6:30 am on Saturday, December 27th to run off those holiday cookies!

Much love,
Emily Rose

My Next Step

When I thought of the title of this blog, I was thinking that it meant the next step in my life, and we'll definitely go into that, but as I started to type, I thought of how many times I've been running and thought to myself, "Just think of my next step as the first step."  Or, "My next step is going to be an amazing one."  Or maybe, "How am I going to get past this next step??"  When you're struggling and tired, thinking about that next step and placing it perfectly can make all the difference in the world.

That said, when I was struggling in my life, I realized that I believe in angels.  They're everywhere around me - guiding me, protecting me, watching over me and giving me advice when I ask for it.  Doreen Virtue is one of those people who showed up in my life when I needed her.  Her angel cards and angel numbers books have been a staple in my life for several years now.  Part of what she talks about in her books is signs from the angels and how to interpret them.  I downloaded her Angel Numbers app on my phone, and use it when I'm sitting at a red light to look up the numbers I see on license plates.  For a long time, the messages I was getting were to stay positive and expect positive outcomes.  After my thinking changed, I started seeing messages that said I'm on the right track.  Then, I started seeing messages telling me that I need to focus completely on a spiritually based career.  I'm still not sure completely what that looks like or what that means, but I'm still getting those messages that I'm on the right path and to keep moving forward and keep going.  To keep up!

Which brings me to sharing my next step in my journey.  This morning, I saw the number 979, which brings the message, "Your decision to completely focus on your spiritually based career is correct."  I started Kundalini Level I teacher training last month at Kundalini Rising.  It was something I signed up for last fall or winter and it got postponed because they didn't have enough people sign up.  My options were to travel to Asheville every month or to wait until this fall.  When this fall came around, I had completely forgotten about the training and that I had already paid in full for the classes.

I got an email one day talking about how excited they were to see me in the studio on Friday of that week.  I panicked.  I work on Friday!  I teach yoga on Saturdays!  How was I going to make this work?  I talked to my employer, and it was too short notice for me to get off on Friday.  I sent a hopeful email to my fellow yoga instructors to see if anyone could sub my class for me.  I looked for excuses not to go, sending an email to the studio owner asking if I was paid, because I couldn't pay for the classes right now; asking if it was okay to miss the first Friday of training, because I couldn't get off work on such short notice.  I thought to myself that if she said no, I just wasn't going to do the training this time around.  I was resisting the idea of the training.  I was scared.  I knew deep down at a soul level that this training was going to change me, and we all resist change to some extent, no matter whether it's good or bad.

Once I had completely talked myself out of the training, I received an email back saying that yes, I was paid in full, and yes, it was okay for me to miss Friday.  "We'll see you on Saturday."  Yikes!  This is happening; I'm committed.  That Saturday, I sucked up every drop of courage I had and walked into the studio, part of me kicking and screaming and grabbing onto the doorways with legs flailing the whole way in.  We practiced Kundalini that day, and I hadn't practiced in almost a year.  The next morning, I woke up at 3:30 to make it to the 5 a.m. Sadhana (daily practice that's meant to start before the sun rises), something I had never even heard of before I started this training.  My stomach was churning.  My solar plexus felt like it was having its own little solar flares, and I almost didn't go.  I'm glad I went, though.  I'm seeing changes, and they're good.  I can breathe again, and I didn't realize that even in my vinyasa classes, I hadn't been taking full, long, deep breaths.  It feels good to breathe.

I went back this weekend for more training, and it was challenging in a very different way.  We practiced a kriya (set of exercises and breathing) Saturday morning called the Sat Nam Kriya as part of the Surya (Sun) Kriya, and then again Saturday afternoon.  It was really hard for me.  I struggled with it a lot, almost as much as I did when I first starting taking hot classes in my vinyasa teacher training last fall.  When I walked into Sadhana Sunday morning, we did the same kriya in the same set from Saturday morning.  I was angry.  I was challenged.  I found myself dedicated to the practice, even though I hated every second of it.  When we finished, I found myself smiling and laughing at how angry I was.  I was uplifted.  I left my anger on the mat and enjoyed the rest of my day.  Every month of our training, we have homework.  I found out yesterday that this month, it's a set that includes Sat Nam Kriya, and a meditation for the heart.  As I prepared myself for the kriya, I found myself excited about it.  I knew it was going to be challenging.  I knew it was going to bring up some emotions/anger, but I was excited for the changes it was going to bring.  I can't wait to practice it again today, and the day after, and the day after until we meet again.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Kundalini practice, it's an ancient practice that was brought to the states by a man named Yogi Bhajan.  It's a practice to bring you to a state of higher awareness, higher consciousness.  It's a beautiful practice that allows you to go through  your day smiling instead of noticing and reacting to anything that's happening around you.  It's a journey.  It helps you smile more and keep up.  I would love to share it with you sometime.  Just ask!

So, this is my next step on my journey.  I'll keep you posted on the changes that happen over the next several months, but for now, I would love for you to join me on my adventure of running and yoga.  Every Saturday, we meet at 6:30 am at the ampitheater in Bicentennial Mall for a 30 minute run/walk, and then a 50-60 minute yoga practice.  You set the pace, so come on out for a little RunYogaLove.

Much love and Sat Nam,
Emily Rose

Solar Powered

I have been accused of being solar powered. On the days that turn into weeks when we have cloudy, overcast days, my energy levels plummet. Running and yoga level that out. It's almost like they open up a channel for the sun to shine in even on the days when I can't actually see it. This week has been especially hard on me. Not only has there been very little sun, but I also have not allowed the time for myself to go play and run outside (which I will do in the rain, too, most of the time).  There was also that pesky little Mercury who happens to be in retrograde right now, peaking this week. If you don't know about the effects of Mercury in retrograde, just google it. You will find a plethora of websites devoted to educating the general public about this astrological event that happens 2-3 times every year. The moon happens to be traveling through cancer right now, so the emotional moon and the emotional cancer have joined in on this especially sensitive time to create the perfect storm and make me a moody mess. Lucky for me (and anyone who gets the extreme pleasure of relating with me this week), there is also yoga, a perfect indoor activity when the skies are opening up on us!  I'm looking forward to my time on the mat today almost as much as I'm looking forward to the sunshine the meteorologist has promised me at the end of the week.  The meditative run we will take this weekend and the beautiful yoga practice after will be a great way to continue to release all of the emotions and frustrations that have built up through the week. I hope you'll join us!

How Yoga and Running Saved My Life

I was stuck. I had been working in a career I didn't love for way too long and was married to a man who I was no longer in love with. When you're in a situation like that for too long, you become numb. You find ways to stop feeling like there's something bigger out there. I turned to alcohol and busy-ness.  My ex-husband and I went to bars and drank heavily almost every day of the week. Our "friends" were people we could sit and drink with and talk about anything but what was really on our minds and in our hearts. I joined every organization I could find, and took on officer and committee positions in those organizations, even creating a section for the Society of Women Engineers, just so that I didn't have time to sit and think about how miserable I was. Of course, I didn't realize this was what I was doing. It just happened. I am grateful for this period in my life, because it showed me in a very big way what I didn't want.

In a way, I was trying to connect with people, but I was going about it in a way that was hurting me. I'm not sure if you know this, but alcohol is a depressant. So, if you're already depressed, it's probably not the best thing to turn to. Yes, it may have put a bandaid (a.k.a. blinders) on the problem temporarily, but in the long run, it actually made me feel worse. Then I started to notice that the nights we went out drinking were the nights that we were fighting. The fights got bigger and worse. I didn't hate him. I hated myself when I was with him. We had grown apart. When I finally realized it was only making things worse, I stopped drinking.  Yes, I went back to it a few times, and still pick up a drink occasionally when they're especially creative, but quitting was one of the best decisions of my life. Yoga and running also helped with this decision, because I started to notice that when I drank, I couldn't practice or run as well or maybe even at all.  When I stopped, I noticed that my practice became stronger.  I became stronger.

As far as my busy-ness goes, making yourself busy is a good way to increase your blood pressure, cause eating disorders, and destroy any chance at inner peace. I was a good example of that, since I was at nearly 200 pounds and eating pretty much anything you put in front of me when I was at my worst.  I was chronically exhausted, but I pushed myself to do more and sleep less.  I didn't exercise. I lost my yoga practice. Ironically, while I was at work, I was searching for activities that would help me feel better, working with HR to develop a wellness program which included yoga, boot camp, dragon boating, and other ways to be active and connect with my coworkers. I was voicing complaints about my manager's style and questioning why I wasn't getting enough work to keep me busy, why the work I wanted to do was being given to someone else. One of my bosses even said something like this to a coworker, "Keep her busy, find something to keep her busy.  When she's busy, she stops questioning everything." I was questioning the system, the organization, the corporation.  But it wasn't them that was the problem.  It was me.  I didn't fit there.  I didn't want to be there.  I have a bigger purpose in my life than that. In February of this year, I left my engineering career. I had no idea what I was going to do or where I was going to go, but I had enough money saved up that I could detox from that life for a couple of months before I had to worry about it.

Of course, in the midst of all of this was when I found my saving grace. As I was searching for something to help me feel, I started riding my bike.  I signed up for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team-in-Training and completed two century rides with them. While training for the second century ride, I organized an ice cream social as a fundraiser for part of my team.  Leah Lillios, the owner of Kali Yuga Yoga, walked into that ice cream social and changed my life forever.  I was looking for a way to tame my stress and make myself feel better, and as we talked about the studio she was opening in East Nashville and how I was moving to East Nashville, I made the decision that I would try it.  Oh, and we'll talk about the word try in a different post, but that's exactly what I did.  I tried a class here and there and didn't really take it seriously.  The last two years of my marriage, I immersed myself in my yoga practice, attending classes regularly, finding teachers who questioned me and pushed me to find myself and open up to who I really was. During this time, I was also seeing a therapist and an acupuncturist to help with the stress from work and my relationships and to deal with the feelings that were coming up. My therapist lead me to my energy healer, and all of these people worked with me and complimented each other in my healing.

At some point, my therapist recommended some type of physical activity, and my healer honed in on the running.  Running was something I had done when I was younger when I needed to get away from my family, like when my sister and I had a fight and I needed to get that anger out of my system, I ran. When I started running again, it felt so natural.  It felt peaceful and happy.  Then, the runner's high kicked in, and the happiness really began.  It became an addiction (a healthy one??), something I needed daily in order to feel good.  At the same time I started running, I began my yoga teacher training.  As part of my training, I had to attend at least five yoga classes every week in addition to the eight hours each week we were spending with our instructors.  I was running before classes, and using the classes to stretch and cool down afterward.  While I'm not sure I would recommend running before a hot yoga class, running before a restorative class was pretty fantastic.

Running and yoga turned out to be the things I could do for myself in order to heal and feel good. I don't need anyone else to do these for me or with me. If I'm diligent in my practice, I feel good all day, every day.  The time in my life when I was doing both was when I really started to open up to all of the good that the universe had given and continues to give me every day.  Once I started to open up and be a happier version of me thanks to the running and yoga, I met an amazing man who loves to run with me, who runs next to me, not in front of me, who supports me in everything I do, including my yoga.  And I am so glad that he is sharing Run❤️Yoga❤️Love with me!  He happens to be running the Ragnar this weekend with some of my amazing friends, and I will be at kundalini yoga level 1 training, but we have an amazing sub to help take you to the next level. Please bring your running shoes and mat to the ampitheater at Bicentennial Mall at 6:30 am and Run❤️Yoga❤️Love!

Much Love,

Emily Rose

Why Combine Running and Yoga??

These are just some musings that I had this morning as I lie in bed with my crystals focusing on my breathing.  I hope you enjoy!

I think a lot of people understand the benefits of yoga for a runner, but I'm not sure everyone understands the benefit of running for yogis (a person who practices yoga for you not-quite-yogis-yet).  I'll start by discussing the benefits of yoga for runners if you're not quite there yet.  Running (or walking) is so good for your body in many ways, but it can also take its toll if you do it a lot.  

Here are a few examples of why yoga is good for runners!

©      If you favor one foot or leg over the other, you may build up one side of your body more than the other, causing your bones to be misaligned and leading to injuries.  Practicing yoga can help balance that back out, and while it may or may not change your gait, it will certainly allow you to continue running and doing what you love.

©      If you’re running every day, your body is going to get fatigued in one way or another.  Even if you’re stretching before and after a run, our muscles get tight and start to pull at our bones and can lead to injury.  Yoga lengthens and tones those muscles to better allow them to propel us along the trail, road, sidewalk or greenway.

©      Yoga can greatly increase the muscle recovery after a run.  A true yogic breath draws so much oxygen into the body that will be carried to the muscles and allow them to recover that much faster.  Plus, if you add the yoga poses to that breath, it helps the oxygen get to those muscles!

©      Yoga can get deep into those muscles that you might not get to with regular runners’ stretches or doing your 10 minute stretch session after your run.  That’s right, I used to be one of those people, and still am occasionally…

Ok, now why is running good for yogis??

©      Running is grounding.  Yep, those feet hitting the pavement can actually draw the energy down and allow you to be more present in your body.  So, if you find yourself a little spacey (and no offense to yogis everywhere, but a lot of us are), head out for a nice walk or run and see how that changes your outlook.

©      Running or walking can be a meditation.  I found myself running along the trail at Percy Warner Park recently repeating one of my kundalini mantras to myself and then out loud as I ran along.  Sat-ah-nam-ah, sat-ah-nam-ah, sat-ah-nam-ah….ooohhh…I feel better already!  Other things I’ve practiced on my runs were breathing in for a certain number of steps and then out for a certain number of steps.

©      Running naturally deepens the breath and helps to expand lung capacity.  So, if you find yourself struggling with the deep breathing exercises in yoga, head out on the trail or the road and notice how deep you have to breathe as you increase your heart rate.

©      Running can get you out in nature.  I have recently taken up trail running.  It is the most amazing things I have done for myself.  Running on the road is fun and all, but running in nature gives me a high that I have never found anywhere else in my life.  And who doesn’t need to spend more time in nature??

©      Running allows you to see things you may not notice otherwise.  Look up at the sky or at that beautiful tree as you run by.  Oh, I’ve never noticed that house or the way the hill slopes down to that beautiful creek.  Talk about being present…I have found myself so present in life on so many of the runs I’ve taken lately.  Such a beautiful thing when you are aware of the things around you!

©     Running can free your inner child!  I love running downhill.  I go fast.  I skip over obstacles.  I open my arms out to the side as if I’m flying.  Even in my childhood, I don’t remember being that free.  I fall so in love with everything.  I giggle.  I play.  I love.

I hope you enjoy this!  I’m sure there will be more to come.  Go forth and run, yoga, and love!