Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

They just keep on comin! I've made yet another move into what we're calling the Summer Home. I moved in with Beck. To some, that may seem like a big move, a huge commitment to move in with someone. For those of you who know me at all or have been reading this blog for any significant amount of time, you've probably already figured out that commitment is something I struggle with right now. We're getting around this by saying it's just temporary. Hence, this is my home for the summer. In August, Beck will be moving to Cookeville, and then I will have another decision to make about whether to go with him, stay here in Nashville, or find a new home altogether. Bali is looking pretty amazing right now. Just sayin....

I knew that I was making the right move when I was on the verge of cancelling my Thumbtack account and had a request from someone in White House, approximately 6 miles from my new front door. It turned out that they're musicians who travel a lot for work, but when they're home, they want me to teach them yoga as much as possible. That was pretty life-affirming, not just in my decision to move to White House, but also in my decision to become a yoga teacher. I don't know why it makes a difference, but when someone of this stature decides to put their body and spiritual development in your hands for an hour when they're at home for such short amounts of time, it makes you think, "Hm, maybe this really is where I'm meant to be."

I feel that way every time I end a class, too. I am so humbled by the gratitude that people express on their way out, when people tell me they feel like they've just gotten a massage, when people grow on their mats. It fills my heart with love and gratitude that my path has brought me here. I've said all along that I don't feel like this is my final resting spot, but it's a pretty amazing stepping stone.

Another change that has come into my life over the last few months is the opening of the Nashville Center for Alternative Therapy (NCAT).  NCAT is a one stop shop for alternative healing modalities. They have massage, acupuncture, yoga, energy work, hypnosis, sound therapy, and so much more. The things they don't have in-house, they have a network they can refer you to. I have "office" hours there every Friday from 1-8 pm! I'm taking on clients who want to use yoga or energy work to heal their bodies and minds. It's such a great spot to be, and I'm so grateful to the owners for their love and support as I'm growing my practice.

I can't help but acknowledge another major milestone that passed last month. I quit my job as an engineer in February 2014, and almost a year later, I'm actually able to pay most of my bills with yoga and energy work. Granted I've simplified my life and purged unneccessary items, services and expenses, but I'm making it work. Eventually, I know that as my practice and clientele grows, I'll be able to add those things back in. For now, though, I'm happy with where I am and where I'm headed. I hope you are, too! I'm so grateful that I get to wake up every day and help someone, even (especially??) if that someone is me.

I also have a new beautiful little being in my life. My niece was born in early February to my brother and his beautiful wife. She and my nephew are such beautiful little beings, and they have amazing parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles to love them and teach them the ways of the world. Their smiles melt my heart, and I love being able to spend time with them!

Oh, and one more thing that I want to share about my move to White House, is that it's in the country, y'all! White House is country. There are fields with cattle and cute little white farm houses and just amazing things all around me. I went to high school in New Harmony, Indiana, a small town in the middle of the corn fields and cattle farms in the southwest corner of Indiana, and being out here feels closer to being me than I have in a long time. Here's a beautiful photo I took on my run along the country roads a couple weeks ago.

Also, I'm making things. I crocheted a pretty cool hat that I gave to my sister for the cold spell we had here in middle Tennessee, and just this past Saturday, I went to visit my mom, who was cleaning out her closet. She found a sweatshirt from a trip my high school took to Washington DC for the 1997 inauguration, and tried to give it to me. She knew I am living a more simple life now, so she wasn't offended when I said no, but couldn't bring herself to get rid of it. My brain started rolling, and I was like, "Maybe we could make a pillow out of it." An hour later, we had this:

It's now sitting on my couch, and is pretty comfy. I had no idea I could make a pillow that quickly! I'm so grateful to my grandma and mom for teaching me how to sew when I was little. Grams also taught me to crochet, although I use the internet to find a lot of the patterns now. It's amazing the things you can do when you put your mind to it. We're such strong, powerful creators when we just open ourselves up and let it flow. Just do it!

I'm going to leave you with this St. Patrick's Day blessing to pay homage to my Irish roots:

May your troubles be less

And your blessings be more

And may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Love,

Emily Rose

Yoga and Meditation Opportunities with Emily Rose:

Tuesdays 7 pm NCAT Yoga - $12

Thursdays 6 pm NCAT Meditation - suggested love offering $5-10

Fridays 1-8 pm Private Yoga or Energy Sessions - $40 if you mention this blog

Saturdays 7 am Run<3Yoga<3Love Ampitheater at Bicentennial Mall - FREE

Saturdays 4:30 pm Gentle Hot Yoga at Kali Yuga Yoga in East Nashville - $13 drop-in

And COMING SOON: Spring into Kundalini Yoga 11:30 am at Kali Yuga Yoga (a six week introduction to Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan) - $13 drop-in/$60 series

The Love of a Sister

I've had the joy this week of reconnecting with my many sisters in this life in one way or another.  My blood sister has started dating again, and she's coming to me for advice.  It's drawing us together in a way that I never thought possible for so many reasons, starting with the one where I told my parents to take her back the first time I met her in the hospital.  I don't know what was going through my 2 1/2 year old mind when I said that, but that's the mentality that has stuck with me and a stigma that has tainted my relationship with my sister for the last 32 years.

My family moved around a lot when I was growing up.  I had friends, but they came and went a lot.  I still see some of them occasionally, but the constant people in my life were my parents, my big brother (who I had an amazing relationship with) and my little sister (who was always someone I tolerated being around).  Growing up, I always found it easier to relate with my brother.  He talked enough for the both of us (I was always quiet and shy growing up), and was there for me when I needed help or needed someone to stand up for me.

My little sister was just a pest who took Mom and Dad's attention away from me, and I was a princess and deserved all of their attention!  Haha!  At least that's what my little child self always thought (maybe even still thinks??).  I built up a resentment toward my sister that usually resulted in me hurting her either physically or emotionally and then going out for a run to burn off the remaining anger I felt toward her.  Everyone always told me that as we grew up, we would grow closer, but that just never happened for us.  In my mind, she would always be that spoiled little child who demanded all of Mom and Dad's attention and love.

While I "grew up," got my degree, got a "real" job, got married, and settled into a life of goals and ambitions, I watched her struggle to find her footing jumping from one job to the next, living off (and with) mom and dad and continuing to demand all of their attention and love even as an adult.  I continued to water the resentment I held toward her and allowed it to grow into the light.

When I started seeing a therapist and started really diving into the issues with my sister, I actually started talking about the resentment I had toward her.  I would openly tell her and anyone else who would listen how miserable I was because of her.  This only started to lighten when she started to "grow up."  She really started working on herself and figured out what she wanted to do with her life.  She wanted to go to nanny school.  At this point, Mom and Dad were refusing to pay for yet another round of training for a job she would work for a few months and realize that it wasn't what she wanted to do.  For some reason, it felt right for me to help her.  I cosigned on a student loan for her to attend English Nanny and Governess School, and she went through with it.  I was so proud of her the day I went up to Chagrin Falls, Ohio to watch her graduate and get her Nanny Certification.  She got an amazing job with a family in Chicago, and I really felt like she was getting her life together.  There were a couple of hiccups along the way, but she stuck with the nanny gig and was really good at it.

When I got divorced and quit my job, however, I started to resent her again, because she lived off my parents for so long.  When I wanted their help, though, they told me to get a job or maybe I shouldn't have quit the job I had.  I couldn't understand why it was okay for her to work through all of her stuff with their help, and it wasn't okay for me to be without a job and try to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.  And one day, they started helping me.  They bought me food and toilet paper and paper towels, and asked what else I needed.  This somehow helped to melt away some of the resentment I felt toward my sister.

Then, she started going to school.  She had tried school before that didn't last, so I wasn't sure how serious she was this time.  For some reason, though, this time was different.  She's finishing up her second semester, and I couldn't be more proud of her for the woman she's becoming.  She even helped me get a job as a nanny to an adorable little boy who I'm helping raise into an amazing and loving toddler.  She started dating recently and reached out to me for advice, and I feel like we're finally starting to relate the way that sisters are meant to relate.

On Sunday, we went to breakfast and then to service at the Center for Spiritual Living Nashville.  One of the songs that they sang during service was "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips.  I don't know a single 30-something girl who didn't have that song on cassette when they were little, not to mention the amazing homage to the song at the end of the movie "Bridesmaids".  Let me interject by saying that every service I have been to at the Center has made me cry at least once; tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of loss, tears at how beautiful the young souls are who get up and do their affirmations at the beginning of service and then the song about them being a big, shiny light that we sing as they leave to go off to their youth activities during the rest of service.

Well, of course "Hold On" made me cry, because for some reason, this was the week that I felt like I needed a break from all of the work I was doing.  I am scared shitless about the journey I am embarking on as I go into another Kundalini training weekend followed by a week at Kundalini Winter Solstice Sadhana Celebration, not to mention not knowing where my life is going.  When they sang the words, "I know that there is pain, but you hold on for one more day, and you break free from the chains," I couldn't help but tear up knowing that it was a sign that my time is coming.  Every sign I've gotten this week has told me this same thing; given me this same message.  At the end of service, they always sing a song as people are walking out, and "Hold On" was that song.  My sister and I channeled our inner "bridesmaids" and joined the Music Ministry as we danced along in our pew, a little more of that resentment melting away.  I think that might have been the closest I've ever felt to my sister, and I'm glad to have deepened that bond.

Today, I shared that same love with a different kind of sister, a soul sister.  We all have people who we come into this life knowing, and I have had the wonderful opportunity to reconnect with many of my soul sisters, thanks to a beautiful soul named Kim Salter, who facilitates a Sisterhood Circle in East Nashville.  It is a beautiful gathering of sensitive, strong and amazing women who come together to hold space for each other and really listen in a way that facilitates healing.  This is an amazing group, because how often are you really heard in your life?  As someone working on my expression and opening myself and my voice, it is very important for me to feel heard at a soul level.  These women offer that for me, and the friendships and bonds extend out past the weekly circle, as well.  If this is something you feel is missing in your life, you can learn more about Circle on Kim's LIFE.Designed Facebook page here.

I also had the amazing opportunity today to connect with two of my friends from my engineering days who have seen me through a lot of the inner turmoil and helped me through the worst days and still love and support me through the changes I'm experiencing in my life.  I'm so grateful to have such amazing friends and such amazing lunches to remind me of that connection.  The friendship I share with those women is so much more than any of the friendships I've ever had, and I'm so grateful for the growth I've gotten to witness in their lives and relationships.

And coming back to that little bit where I talked about messages and signs that have come to me this week, I want to talk a little bit about RunYogaLove.  Beck and I have been running almost every Saturday since I started it in September in the hopes that someone will join us.  It hasn't been a big deal that we haven't had others with us yet, because it was kind of fun having each other to run with and having him there made me feel less tied to any kind of results or growth or expectations I had in starting it.

The last two weekends, however, Beck ran in a half marathon and went to visit family, so I ran by myself.  I used to love running by myself.  It was a fun way for me to explore the city and enjoy the weather and the scenery.  For some reason, the last two Saturdays were really hard for me and brought up a lot of my feelings of not being enough.  Am I not trying hard enough to spread the word?  Am I not likeable enough for people to want to run with me?

Before you freak out and start reaching out to make sure I'm okay, I know this is not true.  I know that I am enough and that I am beautiful and perfect in every way.  We all have our moments, though, right?  It triggered a lot of my "not enough" mentality that I have struggled with most of my life.  It has been a great opportunity for me to work on that, and I am so appreciative that I have had that opportunity.  As I was questioning why I'm doing it, I kept getting the message that I should keep going.  Keep running.  Keep showing up.

I'm ready for you to join me, though!  I will be in teacher training this weekend and out of town December 14-25, but I look forward to seeing you all on the road at 6:30 am on Saturday, December 27th to run off those holiday cookies!

Much love,
Emily Rose

A Little Self Love in this Holiday Season

You are beautiful and perfect in every way.  How does that feel?

Imagine if you heard those words every day.  Well, I do.  I hear them from myself, and I mean it when I say it, too.  I'm not sure that it could get any more powerful than that.

I've been on this healing journey for a long time, and to be honest, at the beginning of the journey, I was not very kind to myself.  This extended out to the others in my life, too, and I would like to apologize from the bottom of my heart if I was ever unkind in any way to you.  I didn't mean it.  I was hurting.  I still hurt occasionally, but I am happy most days now.  I actually had someone tell me recently that I was the happiest now that she's ever seen me.  She thought maybe it was because of my newish relationship with Beck, and, yes, he had a little something to do with it.  I wouldn't have found him, though, if I hadn't fallen in love with myself first.

I did a self love revolution challenge several months ago that solidified that love for myself.  For one week, I did exercises that opened me up to see myself in a new light.  It helped me see the real me and love the person I saw.  With the permission of the facilitator of the Self Love Revolution, I'm going to share those exercises with you here, but first, I have a challenge for you.  For the next week, the first time you look in the mirror for the day, stop whatever you're doing, ignore whatever small blemish or out of place hair you're critiquing, look yourself in the eyes, and say, "<Your name>, you are beautiful and perfect in every way, and I love you."  It takes two seconds, and it will change your entire day.

I would love to hear from you after the week is over to know how it went, so please comment here or on Facebook or send me a message.  You are very special to me and I love you very much.

And before I go, I want to share a card that I wrote to myself in my Sister Circle a few months ago.  If it resonates with you, feel free to borrow it.  I read this to myself a lot as a reminder.

You are beautiful and perfect just as you are.  You don't need anyone else's approval but your own.  Go play.  Do what makes you happy.  If something makes you happy, don't let anyone take it from you.  Wake up every day and do what brings you joy.  Surround yourself in beauty and love and those who support that in you.  There is nothing you can't do.  Everything you create is beautiful.  Just be you.

Much love,
Emily Rose

Why Combine Running and Yoga??

These are just some musings that I had this morning as I lie in bed with my crystals focusing on my breathing.  I hope you enjoy!

I think a lot of people understand the benefits of yoga for a runner, but I'm not sure everyone understands the benefit of running for yogis (a person who practices yoga for you not-quite-yogis-yet).  I'll start by discussing the benefits of yoga for runners if you're not quite there yet.  Running (or walking) is so good for your body in many ways, but it can also take its toll if you do it a lot.  

Here are a few examples of why yoga is good for runners!

©      If you favor one foot or leg over the other, you may build up one side of your body more than the other, causing your bones to be misaligned and leading to injuries.  Practicing yoga can help balance that back out, and while it may or may not change your gait, it will certainly allow you to continue running and doing what you love.

©      If you’re running every day, your body is going to get fatigued in one way or another.  Even if you’re stretching before and after a run, our muscles get tight and start to pull at our bones and can lead to injury.  Yoga lengthens and tones those muscles to better allow them to propel us along the trail, road, sidewalk or greenway.

©      Yoga can greatly increase the muscle recovery after a run.  A true yogic breath draws so much oxygen into the body that will be carried to the muscles and allow them to recover that much faster.  Plus, if you add the yoga poses to that breath, it helps the oxygen get to those muscles!

©      Yoga can get deep into those muscles that you might not get to with regular runners’ stretches or doing your 10 minute stretch session after your run.  That’s right, I used to be one of those people, and still am occasionally…

Ok, now why is running good for yogis??

©      Running is grounding.  Yep, those feet hitting the pavement can actually draw the energy down and allow you to be more present in your body.  So, if you find yourself a little spacey (and no offense to yogis everywhere, but a lot of us are), head out for a nice walk or run and see how that changes your outlook.

©      Running or walking can be a meditation.  I found myself running along the trail at Percy Warner Park recently repeating one of my kundalini mantras to myself and then out loud as I ran along.  Sat-ah-nam-ah, sat-ah-nam-ah, sat-ah-nam-ah….ooohhh…I feel better already!  Other things I’ve practiced on my runs were breathing in for a certain number of steps and then out for a certain number of steps.

©      Running naturally deepens the breath and helps to expand lung capacity.  So, if you find yourself struggling with the deep breathing exercises in yoga, head out on the trail or the road and notice how deep you have to breathe as you increase your heart rate.

©      Running can get you out in nature.  I have recently taken up trail running.  It is the most amazing things I have done for myself.  Running on the road is fun and all, but running in nature gives me a high that I have never found anywhere else in my life.  And who doesn’t need to spend more time in nature??

©      Running allows you to see things you may not notice otherwise.  Look up at the sky or at that beautiful tree as you run by.  Oh, I’ve never noticed that house or the way the hill slopes down to that beautiful creek.  Talk about being present…I have found myself so present in life on so many of the runs I’ve taken lately.  Such a beautiful thing when you are aware of the things around you!

©     Running can free your inner child!  I love running downhill.  I go fast.  I skip over obstacles.  I open my arms out to the side as if I’m flying.  Even in my childhood, I don’t remember being that free.  I fall so in love with everything.  I giggle.  I play.  I love.

I hope you enjoy this!  I’m sure there will be more to come.  Go forth and run, yoga, and love!