People I Love

I recently made a big decision to get back into the engineering world. What does that mean for you? I'm not so sure. I'm still goin
g to teach yoga. I'm still going to write. I'm pretty sure that it won't change your world in any drastic way.

What does this mean for me?? It means that I need to earn PDHs again to get my license back to active. It means that I need to plug myself back into a network that I removed myself from two years ago. It means meetings and luncheons and busyness. Oddly enough, I'm doing it all with a huge smile on my face. You see, I recently read a book that put everything into a little more perspective for me. It's called Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing by Jed McKenna. It put enlightenment into a totally different perspective for me, and made me realize that the things I thought I was looking for were actually there all along, and the things I thought I needed were not necessarily true. It made me question all of the things I was doing to find myself and my purpose and encouraged me to look at the world as a play where everyone was playing their roles. It made me realize that I stopped playing my role while I was trying to figure out what my role was.

The dream I had last week confirmed that for me. I dreamt that I was driving on the interstate and suddenly had the feeling I was going the wrong direction. I drove over the grass in the median to get to the other side only to drive a little ways before there were cars and trucks coming at me. I dodged all the cars and trucks, got myself turned around and was to the break in the median where I could get turned to the other side when I woke up. The right side of the interstate, though, was on the other side from where I originally started. I feel like this has something to do with me being in the engineering field before but for the wrong reasons. I took a detour off to a path that was going against the grain but one that I had to take in order to know the direction I needed to take to get on the right path.

When I was in engineering before, if someone were to ask me why I was an engineer, I would have said that growing up I was good at math and science, so Dad said that I would be a good engineer. I had no purpose in my engineering career. I was there because someone else told me it would be a good idea. That's one of the big reasons that I left engineering. I needed to figure out what it was that made me tick. I needed to know why I was here. I needed purpose.

I recently started meditating a lot more. I thought I was meditating before, but I started practicing yoga at The Ivy House in west Nashville and learned that the guided meditations and yoga practice that I had before was not really getting me where I needed to go. It wasn't getting me to my truth fast enough. I started praying for more clarity in my life. I started becoming more aware of the answers I was seeking. In an Awareness Yoga Immersion last month, I learned how to meditate and learned a particular style of meditation that ended with the questions, "Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose?" The more I've meditated with those questions, the more I have become aware of what it is that I truly want. It's been stewing in the back of my mind for the last couple of years, but the Awareness Yoga has helped me really ground it and figure out the next step I need to take.

So, what I've known for a long time that I want is to help people. I just didn't know exactly how before. I can only help people through what I've been through. I can only teach the lessons I've learned. I've been through grief from death and grief from divorce, and I want to help people going through what I went through. I want to open a house similar to The Ivy House where people who have gotten a divorce or who have experienced the death of someone close to them can go to heal. I want to have on hand a financial advisor. I want to teach them the things I've learned through life experiences and yoga, and most of all, I want them to have a safe place to live and sleep where they can heal. So, what's stopping me from doing this? I need the space. What's stopping me from having the space? I made some poor financial decisions after my divorce. What am I doing now? I'm healing my financial life. I'm attending Financial Peace University. The next step is to get a job doing something I'm good at. What would that be?

I'm actually good at a lot of things. Something I've realized recently while helping Beck out with his homework is that I'm good at engineering. I actually get it. I'm not even embarrassed to say that I enjoy talking about it. I've come to find my love of engineering again. Pair that with my newfound purpose, and I'm ready to get back into the world of engineering again. So, what does this have to do with People I Love?

A couple of days after I came to the realization that I was ready to get back into engineering, my dad reached out to me and asked if I wanted to go to the American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE) luncheon that day. His coworker wasn't able to attend, and I was going to be able to take his place. I didn't have any plans, and refer back to the first paragraph where I mentioned I need to get PDH's in order to get my license back to active status. Twenty-four to be exact. I need to get 24 hours of professional development in order to be able to work in the field of engineering again. This led me to say yes to my dad's offer to attend the ASCE lunch. As I drove to lunch, I had butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't seen most of these people in two years.

As I walked up to registration, my eyes focused in on the man standing just behind the registration table. Mike Kusch of Sherman Dixie was one of my favorite people in the industry, and he was standing there with the biggest grin on his face. That was the kind of greeting I needed to wipe the butterflies from my belly and send them flying out around me. I smiled as I hugged that amazing man, and then started to look around the room, meeting the eyes of several other people I loved. I had forgotten how many people I know and love in the engineering industry. These people I just left without so much as an explanation two years ago still lit up when they saw me.

I found out later that people at other tables were asking if it was me as if I was a local celebrity or something. This was the kind of greeting I wanted but never even thought about as I was figuring out how to get back into the field of engineering. These are the people I helped without asking anything in return and who would do the same for me. These are the people who make engineering fun. These are the people I love, and I was reminded last Thursday that they love me back. I'm so grateful to have more clarity in my life and for it to have led me back to these amazing people! I'm grateful I have the opportunity to continue to learn and grow, and I'm grateful that I get to meet new amazing people every day to add to this beautiful network of people. I'm also grateful for you for joining me on this amazing journey!

Love,
Emily Rose

NaNoWriMo, Yoga, Booch and Vacay

Wow! It's been a while since I wrote anything, and it's been a full month since I wrote 50,000 words with many others at NaNoWriMo.org. If you don't know what NaNoWriMo is, it's short for National Novel Writer's Month. It's a month (November to be exact) where writers and aspiring writers and maybe even non-writers set a goal to write 50k words of a novel. It can be toward a novel they've already started, a novel they've been planning to write or if you're like me, a novel you had no idea you wanted to write. They even have a word for people like me who go in with no clue and no plan. We're called "pantsers" as in we write by the seat of our pants. That's definitely what I did. I went in with no idea what I wanted to write or where to go with the book and somehow ended up with over 50k words. It may not surprise you that I am now wading through a crazy somewhat jumbled up mess of words and thoughts trying to figure out what I want to expand on and where I want everything to go. There's not exactly a flow to the book...

I have to say that I actually looked forward to sitting down at the computer and letting the words flow out of my fingers. It's not really surprising that this came on the heels of me seeing Liz Gilbert at Salon @ 615 and reading Big Magic. Now I just have to overcome the fear of someone else reading my book. It's amazing how much fear there is around that. What if people judge me?? What if people don't like it?? Even worse, what if no one cares?

I've gotten a little practice on not caring if people care through this blog. I want people to get something out of what I write, but if it's not part of their path, it's not my place to force it on them, right?  So here I am with almost 65k words at this point and no clue where to go from here. If you have any advice, I would love to hear from you!

Meanwhile, I have other news to share. I went through yet another yoga immersion weekend at The Ivy House in Nashville. It was an amazing and eye opening weekend, and I met some really amazing women in the process. I've spent much of December processing the yoga I absorbed over that weekend, and my favorite takeaway was a more regular yoga and meditation practice. I'm meditating at least an hour every day now, and practicing awareness yoga on top of that. Add that to my energy work, and I'm getting closer to my bliss every day.

Another thing I got out of that weekend is a new friend who makes Kombucha. I've had several friends who make it, and I've been curious for a while. This one just happened to hit me at the right time. So, I've become one of the many with a science project on my kitchen counter. 

I had my doubts when I took the first sip of my new Kombucha on Christmas Day. After all, I don't know the first thing about the things that are growing in that jar other than that it came from a long line of Boochers before me who passed down advice and a quick lesson on how to booch in my friend's kitchen. It ended up tasting pretty good, and I feel pretty good, too, though, so I think it was a success! If you want to try some or if you have some good recipes, please send them my way!

And finally, I hope you enjoyed your holiday season! I spent mine on the beach, and it was warmer than I expected it to be! We slept with the door open so that we could hear the waves crashing on the shore, ran on the boardwalk and enjoyed some amazing local food. We even got to see some horses on the beach which was amazingly beautiful!

We even took a little jaunt up the coast to Ocean Isle Beach where my family vacationed every year while I was growing up and down the coast to Charleston. It feels like home to be in that area! I think my favorite part of the whole trip was the traveling Christmas tree that Beck's mom gave us to take with since we wouldn't be home on Christmas to enjoy our real tree. If you haven't already seen the photos, you can check them out on my Instagram with #travelingchristmastree. 

I'm so grateful for this amazing trip and that I got to share it with one of my favorite travel buddies. 

It feels good to be home, though! I've already been back in the studio teaching and am offering free energy work and private yoga during the month of January, so reach out if you need some love this month!

Much love,

Emily Rose

Stay positive

With so many 1s in today's date, it feels like a good day to share this message. I have a lot of things I do to keep myself positive. A lot of them, you've probably seen before, but here they go.

1. Be grateful for what you have. Even if I don't necessarily feel it at the moment, just saying the words "I am grateful" totally changes my day. Sometimes I'm just grateful for my eyes or my breath. Being grateful for the smallest things can send me into a positive spiral.

2. Say a prayer. I pray to the Angels and ascended masters, which include God, Jesus, Buddha, Quan Yin and so many others. I prayed yesterday to help with my interactions with the adorable little one I was watching so that we could communicate better. It worked.

3. Do something luxurious for myself. Luxury can take on so many different forms. Some days, it's a pedicure. Some days it's just enjoying some quiet time on the patio. Other days, it's enjoying a conversation with a friend over coffee or a nice meal. Whatever it is, I know that if I do this occasionally, I feel more positive about everything else.

4. Avoid the drama. I'm not saying that this is a healthy choice all the time, but on the days that I'm feeling less than sunshiney, the worst thing I can do is get involved in someone else's drama.

5. Take a yoga or exercise class. This works. Every time. Period.

6. Play with a kid. I don't mean take a kiddo the playground and watch them play. I mean really play with them. When I'm around kids now, I have a tendency to listen a little more to my inner child. Tickle bugs come out, and my imagination runs wild. It frees me up in a way that not much else can.

7. Play in the sunshine. There are so many studies that show that sun helps people stay happy, and I am certainly no different.

8. Play in the rain. This is a little harder for me, but it does help on those days or weeks when I don't see the sun. I put on a pair of boots or old tennis shoes and head out to splash in the puddles.

Stay positive today loves!

Love,

Emily Rose

Why Won't They Just Say Thank You

I don't want your f*ing help! Just mind your own business!

I've been on both sides of this shout during my time here on earth, and it's incredibly frustrating for both people involved. As the "help"-er, you're just trying to help. Maybe a friend is going through a situation that you've been through before that you feel you can help them through by offering your advice, or maybe you see someone struggling to put together a puzzle that you can clearly see the solution to. Whatever it is, if they didn't ask for your help, maybe there's a reason for it.

On the other side, as the "help"-ee, maybe you're one of those people who learns best by experience. No matter how many times someone tells you how something works, if you don't see it for yourself, you don't believe it.

I've been chain watching "Orange is the New Black" over the last few weeks and finally finished it today. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, they flash back in each epsiode to one of the character's pasts. In this particular episode, they glashed back to a male character having a discussion with his wife who was leaving him. He was explaining how he had given up his opportunity to make it big in the music industry to stay home and take care of her and her baby. Her response was, "I didn't ask you to do that." So, while he thought he was making this grand, loving gesture and doing what he thought she wanted him to do, he was actually doing them both a disservice. He missed out on his big break and wondered why she didn't just say thank you, and she realized she didn't really love him and ended up leaving him for a man who was living his big break.

The moral of the story: don't ever do something because you think it was something the other person would want. If someone doesn't ask you for help, they're probably not going to thank you for whatever it is that you're doing.

This is something that's come up several times for me, and it now has me questioning again what areas in my life I'm doing things for other people and expecting thanks that never comes. Do I feel resentful toward people when I do things for them and don't get a thank you? If so, why am I doing these things in the first place? Is it for the gratification of that thank you or acknowledgement? Or is it out of the generosity of my heart? What expectations do I set on other people without expressing those expectations to them? Would they want to be my friend if they knew what my expectations are? Would they want my help? Would they want to help me?

Do you have any areas in your life where you're helping for the wrong reasons? How can you change that?

Much love,

Emily Rose

My New Gig

Y'all, every time I start to doubt...every...time...I am reminded that God, the Source, Universe - whatever you want to call it - has my back. It really is the source of everything good, all abundance flows to me through it. I don't know why I doubt when I know that this is true. I have been reminded over and over again, and will continue to be reminded every time I doubt. All I have to do is ask.

Oh, and by the way, I'm going to post some happy photos throughout this post today to make up for the sad photo I posted last week. I had so much feedback from people telling me how sad it made them to see the cryey face. I gave you no warning! People aren't used to the cryey face, because it usually only happens at home. I wanted y'all to see the real, though. I wanted you to know that you're not the only one who breaks down. It happens to all of us occasionally. It's the bounce back that really matters, though. What comes from those break downs is way more important than the break down itself.

I have a condo in Hendersonville that I have been renting out for the last couple years, just enough to cover the expenses of the condo. I had discussed the move-out date situation with the current tenants and they asked if they could stay another month. When it came time for them to pay the additional month's rent, I found out that two of the three tenants had already moved out and the third had decided to move out on the original end date for the lease. This fell within the 30 day notice period that was required by the lease, so I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't start to freak out immediately, but when the mortgage came due and I didn't have the rent money to pay it, I started to question. I learn something new with every tenant who I work with, and this time, I'm making the notice period 60 days to give me a little more leeway to get a new tenant in there. Since I'm also getting better at managing my budget, this will be the last time I have this problem, I'm sure. All that to say that I posted an ad for a new tenant and had five showings lined up within a day of posting the ad. I found an amazing tenant with a full time job and no roommates who will be moving in mid-August. We signed a lease yesterday and the deposit has been paid in full. It's super exciting!

In more exciting news, I started teaching a new class that's 5 miles from my house on Monday. It's at an amazing gym that offers yoga Monday thru Thursday and personal training most days. Summit Fitness + Sports Performance is a Cross Fit certified gym that has a yoga studio right next door. I'll be teaching anywhere from 2-5 classes each week there starting in August. My classes will be Monday, Tuesday and Friday at 6:30 pm, and we're going to look into adding morning classes over the next couple of weeks. If you haven't already, head over and "Like" their Facebook page, too, at www.facebook.com/summitfitnessandsportsperformance. It's just a couple guys pursuing their dreams just like me and you.

In case you're wondering, I haven't forgotten about Run❤️Yoga❤️Love. It's on the back burner for now. Once I get these changes under my belt, we're going to figure out how to resurrect our weekly runs. We may even do a beginners series starting in September. Keep your eyes peeled!

For now, though, there are already some amazing options for running in Nashville. I've committed to run all 12 of the Wednesday night runs with East Nasty, and you can keep up with them here: www.facebook.com/eastnasty.  I usually start with the slowest group and end up walking most of it. If you ever want to join me, reach out! Also, if you haven't heard about the Germantown Running Club, head on over to their page to read about their Tuesday night runs: www.facebook.com/germantownrunning. Nashville Running Company has runs through the week, too, with their East or West locations: http://www.nashvillerunning.com/weekly-runs/. Fleet Feet has some weekly runs posted on their website, too! http://www.fleetfeetnashville.com/events/weekly-runs. So many options! I hope to see you out on a run soon!

I'm so grateful for you and your continued support. Have I told you lately that I love you? I really do.

And the question for today is...What would it take for you to take a yoga class? Or schedule a private yoga session? Why haven't you tried it yet? What's keeping you from practicing with me? I would love to hear from you!

Much love,
Emily Rose

What are you grateful for?

It happens every once in a while. The scared little girl inside comes out and the ego starts to question what I'm doing with my life and then Colbie Callet's song "Try" comes on the radio and the tears start to flow. It's not pretty, but it's real.

And then I read a new post on one of my favorite blogs (http://adviceigivemyself.com/2015/07/17/when-perfectionism-is-driving/) and "Only Human" by Christina Perri comes on the radio and it reminds me that this is part of the process. We bleed when we fall down. It happens. We get back up. We're a little stronger. We pick up the pieces and maybe add a few more sparkles and glue it all together, take a minute to admire our work and work on filling the cup back up with happy moments. An amazing yoga teacher of mine (love you, Raquel!) talked a lot in class about a process of putting broken pieces of China back together filling the cracks with gold. I think of that every time I fall apart and how much shinier I am every time I come back together.

I had a really rough day the other day because I was struggling with my old bank taking my money. I divorced SunTrust yesterday. We've had a questionable relationship since they held onto over $1k of my money last year for 10 days without an apology or any kind of interest or even responding to my request for an overdraft fee of $36 and a long term overdraft fee of $36 after 7 days. (let it go! Let it go!) Yes, I have learned the hard way that this is what they charge their long term customers for an overdraft. Even if it only lasts 24 hours. But they can hold onto my money for 10 days without any compensation. Then, my car payment (to SunTrust from SunTrust) gets pushed through to my account and causes me to be overdraft. They did me a favor and pushed it through because I'm a long term client. That's what the manager told me when I closed my account yesterday. Thanks, SubTrust for "helping" me in this way that not only allowed you to get the car payment, but also $72 in overdraft fees for the two transactions that were processing when that car payment pushed my account into overdraft. This all happened after I called to talk to a SunTrust representative about canceling my payment and he assured me that it would not go through. I'm not blaming them for my irresponsibility with my money over the last couple of years, but what I am blaming them for is their lack of compassion for those of us pursuing our dreams. I'm blaming them for all of the times that I've talked to one of their representatives and been told that all would be ok and then checked my account a day later to find that they've screwed me again. No more, SunTrust! You will not get another dime from me in overdraft charges or that $7 monthly account service fee that you randomly started charging me a few months back without giving me any kind of notification.  Most of my problems right now revolve around money, but my SunTrust checking account will no longer be one of them. Actually, I'm just going to let go of any limiting thoughts I have around money right now. Want to join me? I now release my lack mentality and any limiting beliefs I hold around money and success. That feels better.

All that to say that I had a bad experience. I've been making a conscious effort to focus on my good experiences more than the bad ones. Every time I think about a bad experience, instead of going into a tailspin thinking about all of the bad things going on in my life (which is one of my old patterns) I like to think about something that I'm grateful for in my life. So here goes! I'm so grateful for the changes I've made in my life that have made me more free and happy. I'm grateful for my amazing private clients who I get to work with when they're in town and who included me in their morning prayer after our yoga session the other day. I cannot tell you what an honor that was to be included in such an intimate family practice. That's what yoga is all about for me. So beautiful!

Now I want to hear from you. What are you grateful for??

Happy Birthday to Me!

I LOVE my birthday!!! I mean seriously love it. I wish every day was my birthday. I mean who doesn't?? For me, though, it's not about the gifts or the cake so much as the fact that I can act like a spoiled brat and the world revolves around me, and people are going to love me anyway.

I had an amazing conversation with a friend the other day about this very topic. I love being the center of attention. I love acting like no one else in the world has needs but me. I love to be the object of everyone else's love and adoration. Why, then, is it that I only act like this on my birthday??

Somewhere along the way, someone told me not to be selfish. Someone told me that I needed to share and be nice to others. At some point, though, I started putting other people's needs, wants and happiness in front of my own without them even asking me to do it. This is a pattern that was formed years and years and years ago, and it's a pattern I need to learn how to break before I'm able to commit to a serious relationship with someone else, and especially before I become a mother, which is something I really want to do in the near future.

So what does that mean? What does that even look like to break that pattern?? Y'all have heard me and probably a million other people talk about self love, right? Well, what does that look like?? My first step is not to help someone unless they ask for it. This is really hard for me. My mama raised me to help other people.  If someone is struggling to reach that can on the top shelf at the grocery store, I would normally see it, realize they were struggling, and walk over to offer my assistance.

This is even harder to keep from doing as an empath. I want to help everyone. I walk into a room and feel what people are feeling, physically and emotionally. This is a "gift" that I was born with and have probably been honing since I was a child and didn't even realize that I had it until I was an adult and talked to someone about their experiences and finally put a name on what I'd been experiencing for years. What a relief!!! I'm not alone. As a yoga teacher, I can use that gift to help people who walk into my classes or ask for private lessons. It truly is a gift. In my personal life, it makes it hard to be around people for extended periods of time. I mean pretty much everyone has something going on, and taking all of that on is a lot for one person. I've learned to avoid situations where I know I'll be around big groups of people. I've learned techniques like zipping up and shielding my electromagnetic field and things like that that help guard against letting in the sharp stuff, but in the end, the easiest way to help myself is some good quality time alone meditating or just sitting in silence.

Hmm...but I think I digressed there. Back to self love and helping yourself first. You know when you're in the airplane and the flight attendant tells you that if you're traveling with small children, you should put on your own oxygen mask before putting on your child's? There's a really good reason for that. Basically, if you don't have an oxygen mask on, chances are that you're going to die, probably before you can get your child's mask on. Then you're both dead and that would be horribly sad.

The same applies to life. If you go around helping and giving energy to people who didn't ask for it, you won't have energy left to help the people who need it and want your help and are going to be grateful for it.

You have to start, though, by filling up your own cup.  I do this through meditations, playing, running and being around people who share the same love and respect for me that I share for them. I love being around people who love me back. Who doesn't??

So, the gift that I'm giving myself for my birthday in addition to that amazing run I took this morning followed by a fabulous meditation on the front porch looking up at the beautiful clouds in the sky and watching one of my favorite one-year-olds in the world is that it's okay to put myself first. 

It's okay to not help that stranger who fell down in the stream on my way to Cummins Falls (can you tell there's a little guilt there? She had friends with her and a crowd of people forming before I even knew what was going on. It's not like I left her completely alone and bleeding to death). It's okay to not engage in drama in the people's lives around me. From now on, I'm only helping people who ask for my help, and I reserve the right to choose whether I engage in friends' drama, and I give myself full permission to speak up and be "selfish" and love myself.

I would love to hear from you. Is this something that you do? What types of things do you do for self care?

Love,

Emily Rose