Stay positive

With so many 1s in today's date, it feels like a good day to share this message. I have a lot of things I do to keep myself positive. A lot of them, you've probably seen before, but here they go.

1. Be grateful for what you have. Even if I don't necessarily feel it at the moment, just saying the words "I am grateful" totally changes my day. Sometimes I'm just grateful for my eyes or my breath. Being grateful for the smallest things can send me into a positive spiral.

2. Say a prayer. I pray to the Angels and ascended masters, which include God, Jesus, Buddha, Quan Yin and so many others. I prayed yesterday to help with my interactions with the adorable little one I was watching so that we could communicate better. It worked.

3. Do something luxurious for myself. Luxury can take on so many different forms. Some days, it's a pedicure. Some days it's just enjoying some quiet time on the patio. Other days, it's enjoying a conversation with a friend over coffee or a nice meal. Whatever it is, I know that if I do this occasionally, I feel more positive about everything else.

4. Avoid the drama. I'm not saying that this is a healthy choice all the time, but on the days that I'm feeling less than sunshiney, the worst thing I can do is get involved in someone else's drama.

5. Take a yoga or exercise class. This works. Every time. Period.

6. Play with a kid. I don't mean take a kiddo the playground and watch them play. I mean really play with them. When I'm around kids now, I have a tendency to listen a little more to my inner child. Tickle bugs come out, and my imagination runs wild. It frees me up in a way that not much else can.

7. Play in the sunshine. There are so many studies that show that sun helps people stay happy, and I am certainly no different.

8. Play in the rain. This is a little harder for me, but it does help on those days or weeks when I don't see the sun. I put on a pair of boots or old tennis shoes and head out to splash in the puddles.

Stay positive today loves!

Love,

Emily Rose

Why Won't They Just Say Thank You

I don't want your f*ing help! Just mind your own business!

I've been on both sides of this shout during my time here on earth, and it's incredibly frustrating for both people involved. As the "help"-er, you're just trying to help. Maybe a friend is going through a situation that you've been through before that you feel you can help them through by offering your advice, or maybe you see someone struggling to put together a puzzle that you can clearly see the solution to. Whatever it is, if they didn't ask for your help, maybe there's a reason for it.

On the other side, as the "help"-ee, maybe you're one of those people who learns best by experience. No matter how many times someone tells you how something works, if you don't see it for yourself, you don't believe it.

I've been chain watching "Orange is the New Black" over the last few weeks and finally finished it today. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, they flash back in each epsiode to one of the character's pasts. In this particular episode, they glashed back to a male character having a discussion with his wife who was leaving him. He was explaining how he had given up his opportunity to make it big in the music industry to stay home and take care of her and her baby. Her response was, "I didn't ask you to do that." So, while he thought he was making this grand, loving gesture and doing what he thought she wanted him to do, he was actually doing them both a disservice. He missed out on his big break and wondered why she didn't just say thank you, and she realized she didn't really love him and ended up leaving him for a man who was living his big break.

The moral of the story: don't ever do something because you think it was something the other person would want. If someone doesn't ask you for help, they're probably not going to thank you for whatever it is that you're doing.

This is something that's come up several times for me, and it now has me questioning again what areas in my life I'm doing things for other people and expecting thanks that never comes. Do I feel resentful toward people when I do things for them and don't get a thank you? If so, why am I doing these things in the first place? Is it for the gratification of that thank you or acknowledgement? Or is it out of the generosity of my heart? What expectations do I set on other people without expressing those expectations to them? Would they want to be my friend if they knew what my expectations are? Would they want my help? Would they want to help me?

Do you have any areas in your life where you're helping for the wrong reasons? How can you change that?

Much love,

Emily Rose

My New Gig

Y'all, every time I start to doubt...every...time...I am reminded that God, the Source, Universe - whatever you want to call it - has my back. It really is the source of everything good, all abundance flows to me through it. I don't know why I doubt when I know that this is true. I have been reminded over and over again, and will continue to be reminded every time I doubt. All I have to do is ask.

Oh, and by the way, I'm going to post some happy photos throughout this post today to make up for the sad photo I posted last week. I had so much feedback from people telling me how sad it made them to see the cryey face. I gave you no warning! People aren't used to the cryey face, because it usually only happens at home. I wanted y'all to see the real, though. I wanted you to know that you're not the only one who breaks down. It happens to all of us occasionally. It's the bounce back that really matters, though. What comes from those break downs is way more important than the break down itself.

I have a condo in Hendersonville that I have been renting out for the last couple years, just enough to cover the expenses of the condo. I had discussed the move-out date situation with the current tenants and they asked if they could stay another month. When it came time for them to pay the additional month's rent, I found out that two of the three tenants had already moved out and the third had decided to move out on the original end date for the lease. This fell within the 30 day notice period that was required by the lease, so I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't start to freak out immediately, but when the mortgage came due and I didn't have the rent money to pay it, I started to question. I learn something new with every tenant who I work with, and this time, I'm making the notice period 60 days to give me a little more leeway to get a new tenant in there. Since I'm also getting better at managing my budget, this will be the last time I have this problem, I'm sure. All that to say that I posted an ad for a new tenant and had five showings lined up within a day of posting the ad. I found an amazing tenant with a full time job and no roommates who will be moving in mid-August. We signed a lease yesterday and the deposit has been paid in full. It's super exciting!

In more exciting news, I started teaching a new class that's 5 miles from my house on Monday. It's at an amazing gym that offers yoga Monday thru Thursday and personal training most days. Summit Fitness + Sports Performance is a Cross Fit certified gym that has a yoga studio right next door. I'll be teaching anywhere from 2-5 classes each week there starting in August. My classes will be Monday, Tuesday and Friday at 6:30 pm, and we're going to look into adding morning classes over the next couple of weeks. If you haven't already, head over and "Like" their Facebook page, too, at www.facebook.com/summitfitnessandsportsperformance. It's just a couple guys pursuing their dreams just like me and you.

In case you're wondering, I haven't forgotten about Run❤️Yoga❤️Love. It's on the back burner for now. Once I get these changes under my belt, we're going to figure out how to resurrect our weekly runs. We may even do a beginners series starting in September. Keep your eyes peeled!

For now, though, there are already some amazing options for running in Nashville. I've committed to run all 12 of the Wednesday night runs with East Nasty, and you can keep up with them here: www.facebook.com/eastnasty.  I usually start with the slowest group and end up walking most of it. If you ever want to join me, reach out! Also, if you haven't heard about the Germantown Running Club, head on over to their page to read about their Tuesday night runs: www.facebook.com/germantownrunning. Nashville Running Company has runs through the week, too, with their East or West locations: http://www.nashvillerunning.com/weekly-runs/. Fleet Feet has some weekly runs posted on their website, too! http://www.fleetfeetnashville.com/events/weekly-runs. So many options! I hope to see you out on a run soon!

I'm so grateful for you and your continued support. Have I told you lately that I love you? I really do.

And the question for today is...What would it take for you to take a yoga class? Or schedule a private yoga session? Why haven't you tried it yet? What's keeping you from practicing with me? I would love to hear from you!

Much love,
Emily Rose

What are you grateful for?

It happens every once in a while. The scared little girl inside comes out and the ego starts to question what I'm doing with my life and then Colbie Callet's song "Try" comes on the radio and the tears start to flow. It's not pretty, but it's real.

And then I read a new post on one of my favorite blogs (http://adviceigivemyself.com/2015/07/17/when-perfectionism-is-driving/) and "Only Human" by Christina Perri comes on the radio and it reminds me that this is part of the process. We bleed when we fall down. It happens. We get back up. We're a little stronger. We pick up the pieces and maybe add a few more sparkles and glue it all together, take a minute to admire our work and work on filling the cup back up with happy moments. An amazing yoga teacher of mine (love you, Raquel!) talked a lot in class about a process of putting broken pieces of China back together filling the cracks with gold. I think of that every time I fall apart and how much shinier I am every time I come back together.

I had a really rough day the other day because I was struggling with my old bank taking my money. I divorced SunTrust yesterday. We've had a questionable relationship since they held onto over $1k of my money last year for 10 days without an apology or any kind of interest or even responding to my request for an overdraft fee of $36 and a long term overdraft fee of $36 after 7 days. (let it go! Let it go!) Yes, I have learned the hard way that this is what they charge their long term customers for an overdraft. Even if it only lasts 24 hours. But they can hold onto my money for 10 days without any compensation. Then, my car payment (to SunTrust from SunTrust) gets pushed through to my account and causes me to be overdraft. They did me a favor and pushed it through because I'm a long term client. That's what the manager told me when I closed my account yesterday. Thanks, SubTrust for "helping" me in this way that not only allowed you to get the car payment, but also $72 in overdraft fees for the two transactions that were processing when that car payment pushed my account into overdraft. This all happened after I called to talk to a SunTrust representative about canceling my payment and he assured me that it would not go through. I'm not blaming them for my irresponsibility with my money over the last couple of years, but what I am blaming them for is their lack of compassion for those of us pursuing our dreams. I'm blaming them for all of the times that I've talked to one of their representatives and been told that all would be ok and then checked my account a day later to find that they've screwed me again. No more, SunTrust! You will not get another dime from me in overdraft charges or that $7 monthly account service fee that you randomly started charging me a few months back without giving me any kind of notification.  Most of my problems right now revolve around money, but my SunTrust checking account will no longer be one of them. Actually, I'm just going to let go of any limiting thoughts I have around money right now. Want to join me? I now release my lack mentality and any limiting beliefs I hold around money and success. That feels better.

All that to say that I had a bad experience. I've been making a conscious effort to focus on my good experiences more than the bad ones. Every time I think about a bad experience, instead of going into a tailspin thinking about all of the bad things going on in my life (which is one of my old patterns) I like to think about something that I'm grateful for in my life. So here goes! I'm so grateful for the changes I've made in my life that have made me more free and happy. I'm grateful for my amazing private clients who I get to work with when they're in town and who included me in their morning prayer after our yoga session the other day. I cannot tell you what an honor that was to be included in such an intimate family practice. That's what yoga is all about for me. So beautiful!

Now I want to hear from you. What are you grateful for??

Happy Birthday to Me!

I LOVE my birthday!!! I mean seriously love it. I wish every day was my birthday. I mean who doesn't?? For me, though, it's not about the gifts or the cake so much as the fact that I can act like a spoiled brat and the world revolves around me, and people are going to love me anyway.

I had an amazing conversation with a friend the other day about this very topic. I love being the center of attention. I love acting like no one else in the world has needs but me. I love to be the object of everyone else's love and adoration. Why, then, is it that I only act like this on my birthday??

Somewhere along the way, someone told me not to be selfish. Someone told me that I needed to share and be nice to others. At some point, though, I started putting other people's needs, wants and happiness in front of my own without them even asking me to do it. This is a pattern that was formed years and years and years ago, and it's a pattern I need to learn how to break before I'm able to commit to a serious relationship with someone else, and especially before I become a mother, which is something I really want to do in the near future.

So what does that mean? What does that even look like to break that pattern?? Y'all have heard me and probably a million other people talk about self love, right? Well, what does that look like?? My first step is not to help someone unless they ask for it. This is really hard for me. My mama raised me to help other people.  If someone is struggling to reach that can on the top shelf at the grocery store, I would normally see it, realize they were struggling, and walk over to offer my assistance.

This is even harder to keep from doing as an empath. I want to help everyone. I walk into a room and feel what people are feeling, physically and emotionally. This is a "gift" that I was born with and have probably been honing since I was a child and didn't even realize that I had it until I was an adult and talked to someone about their experiences and finally put a name on what I'd been experiencing for years. What a relief!!! I'm not alone. As a yoga teacher, I can use that gift to help people who walk into my classes or ask for private lessons. It truly is a gift. In my personal life, it makes it hard to be around people for extended periods of time. I mean pretty much everyone has something going on, and taking all of that on is a lot for one person. I've learned to avoid situations where I know I'll be around big groups of people. I've learned techniques like zipping up and shielding my electromagnetic field and things like that that help guard against letting in the sharp stuff, but in the end, the easiest way to help myself is some good quality time alone meditating or just sitting in silence.

Hmm...but I think I digressed there. Back to self love and helping yourself first. You know when you're in the airplane and the flight attendant tells you that if you're traveling with small children, you should put on your own oxygen mask before putting on your child's? There's a really good reason for that. Basically, if you don't have an oxygen mask on, chances are that you're going to die, probably before you can get your child's mask on. Then you're both dead and that would be horribly sad.

The same applies to life. If you go around helping and giving energy to people who didn't ask for it, you won't have energy left to help the people who need it and want your help and are going to be grateful for it.

You have to start, though, by filling up your own cup.  I do this through meditations, playing, running and being around people who share the same love and respect for me that I share for them. I love being around people who love me back. Who doesn't??

So, the gift that I'm giving myself for my birthday in addition to that amazing run I took this morning followed by a fabulous meditation on the front porch looking up at the beautiful clouds in the sky and watching one of my favorite one-year-olds in the world is that it's okay to put myself first. 

It's okay to not help that stranger who fell down in the stream on my way to Cummins Falls (can you tell there's a little guilt there? She had friends with her and a crowd of people forming before I even knew what was going on. It's not like I left her completely alone and bleeding to death). It's okay to not engage in drama in the people's lives around me. From now on, I'm only helping people who ask for my help, and I reserve the right to choose whether I engage in friends' drama, and I give myself full permission to speak up and be "selfish" and love myself.

I would love to hear from you. Is this something that you do? What types of things do you do for self care?

Love,

Emily Rose

Don't Go Down There! It's Dark and Scary!

I'm sure you've heard this before from your mom or grandma or babysitter or maybe just some random adult type who happened to be passing by when you were considering crawling through that storm drain when you were little. Or maybe you were like me and storm drains and clowns scared the crap out of you because you watched Stephen King's "It" with your older brother. I mean, seriously, I couldn't sleep at night with that book on my shelf staring at me. But I digress.

I've been spending a lot of time in deep thought recently, trying to figure out my next step and which idea to grab onto and run with. Well, while I was thinking, it occurred to me that I was on one path for a long time, and it was the path that was well-traveled, safe and secure. It turned out not to be so great, and along the way, I've had moments where I could have chosen another path, maybe one that was a little dark and scary and unknown. I didn't choose those paths, because I listened to the people around me and avoided the dark and scary and unknown. I'm realizing now, though, that even though those paths were dark and scary and unknown, they're nothing compared to the work I've done over the last couple years, hacking my way through the deep woods without even a tiny little path to follow and some crazy noises and lions and tigers and bears, oh my! So this is what it looked like in my head as I was having this stream of thought.

Crazy, huh? And that little heart there is me.

When we start our lives, we have all of this information that we bring in with us, mainly unconditional love and joy and wonderment at the world around us. As we grow older, we have people instill a healthy (or sometimes not so healthy) fear of certain things in our lives. Healthy fears are the ones where they tell us not to touch the stove because it's hot or not to cross the road when there's a car coming. Healthy, right?

Okay, so for unhealthy fears, I'm thinking things like, "Don't talk to strangers." Yes, sometimes that's good, but not all strangers are bad. And how many times have you not talked to someone who might change your life for the good just because they were a stranger? There's no way to know, right? Other unhealthy fears are not being good enough at what we're trying to do or not being loved or not having enough or whatever it is that's keeping you from choosing the path and the purpose that you came here to live. Anyway, here we are at the start of our journey, choosing the path of love (my path) or the path of fear (the path well-traveled).

Yikes! Which path do we choose??

For most of my generation and the generations before me, the choice was the path well-traveled. We went down that path and made money and bought the things everyone told us we needed like a car and a house (so that we could be stable and secure and be able to drive to the job that we have to have in order to pay for the things that we have) and other things we accumulate along the way. We may hit some bumps in the road that come at just the right time to choose that dark, scary path through the woods, but it's dark and scary and unknown and we've been warned about those paths. There are things down those paths that could hurt us. Murderers hiding in the bushes or poisonous snakes or spiders or tree frogs! So we continue down the well-traveled path.

Don't go down that path!

As we continue down that well-traveled path, maybe we start to realize that we don't feel quite right. (Or if you're like me, don't feel at all.) One day, we may get a blow to the gut so intense that we start to wake up, to look at things that are happening around us and to us and realize that even though we created this life, it isn't exactly what we want right now. For me, that blow to the gut was the day I found out that my ex-husband was posting and replying to personal ads on Craigslist. As I read through email after email after email (some with pictures!), I literally felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. That was my wake up call. I was already seeing a therapist at this point, so she helped me through the emotions that came up through all of this. Between her, my yoga instructors, acupuncturist and energy healer, I waded through it.

It may be something completely different for you. I hope it is! Maybe it's something a little less dramatic, or maybe you're paying a little more attention to the signs along the way that tell you not to fall asleep at the wheel. Or maybe it's something worse, but I promise you that someone has been there before, right where you are. And this brings us to our second dark, scary path. Do you stay? Or do you go? Do you stay in this life that you've chosen, on this well-traveled path because at least you know what it looks like? Or do you leave and choose the unknown, dark, scary path?

Do I stay or do I go?

I chose to stay. I chose to see if we could work it out. Maybe he would change. Maybe I could be okay with it. Maybe things will get better if I just keep working on myself and finding who I am, that beautiful soul who has been covered up with layers and layers of other people's beliefs of who I should be. But what about what I want? When I did my exercises and worked on myself at home, he got upset because he said they were making me self-centered. What he didn't realize was that that was the point. I wasn't going to live my life for someone else anymore. I wanted to live it for me. At this point, I had missed my next (and last??) dark, scary cut through path that would lead me to my path.

Oh no! Now what do I do??

I could hear the wolves howling in the distance, but friends held my hand as I made the decision to cut through the deep woods to find my way to my path. It's been quite the journey, let me tell you. At first it was light brush, nothing I couldn't navigate. Eventually, though, I got into the deep stuff, with vines growing everywhere that I had to break through. I lost a lot of people along the way. There was no way they were walking through these woods with me. Some of them have come back in one way or another as I'm hacking my way through.

The healing I've done along the way has been riddled with dark and scary things from my past that I had completely forgotten about. Repeating patterns have been exposed to me over and over until I chose to respond to them in different ways. But I'll tell you what...those layers and layers of beliefs have lifted. The layers of protection I had placed over my heart have peeled back one by one and revealed my true desires, my true self. The self I knew when I was a child.

I'm coming out of the darkness now, and one thing that I've realized is that those wolves howling in the distance is my pack, my tribe, whatever you choose to call them. I didn't meet them until after I made that decision to dive into the deep end. They showed up and lit up my life and we have helped each other lift those layers and discover who we truly are. They're those people in my life who have looked at me in all my imperfection and darkness and loved me anyway. They're the people I can't imagine my life without, the people I can see myself growing old with. The sense of acceptance and community that I feel even when we're not together has been the light that I've carried with me through the darkest spots in the woods.

Hanging out with my pack in the woods

I can see the light now, and the brush is getting thinner again. I know that I'm coming out of the woods and onto the path that I'm meant to be on. The end goal is getting more and more clear, and the only thing that's really clear right now is that it will be full of love and community and water. There will be water, and a lot of it. A large body of water of some type. I'm being called back to it now. I feel calm when I think of it, and my next journey will be a journey of discovery to find that place where I'm meant to settle down and grow my roots.

Not the end, but the place where my heart will live forever.

I know that that place will be a place of unconditional love and acceptance, both for myself and for others. I hope that you'll join me on this path! And know that as you run away from that well-traveled path that maybe you're not running away so much as running toward the place you're meant to be.

I wish I could give credit to the person who created this, but I have no idea where it came from!

I want to leave you with this. Just because something is unknown does not mean it's bad or wrong. I encourage you to take that dark scary path, because going through the deep woods is not fun. However, if you find yourself there in those deep dark woods, know that you're not alone. You have a pack, a tribe, who has been there waiting for you, and ya know what?? They have a flashlight!

Thank you so much for coming with me on this journey!

Much love,

Emily Rose

P.S. I want to give mad props to my amazing Auntee C for the beautiful ceramic heart that was a gift to me and I love it with all of my hearts! You can see more of her beautiful work here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Charlotte-Barber-Wiley-Pottery/116116151757124

You Deserve to be Happy

Y'all, my mama works her butt off! I mean, literally works so hard that at the end of the day, she falls into her recliner and doesn't move for the rest of the evening. Actually, scratch that. At the end of her day working for other people, she comes home and works in her own yard, making it beautiful and colorful. Then, she might have some dinner and crash into her recliner. Do you want to know how much she makes? A little more than minimum wage, but not hardly enough to get by. Really not even enough for the physical abuse that her body takes. Want to know what she does? She takes care of the plants at hotels and office buildings around Nashville. When you walk into the Hilton downtown, the beautiful flowers and plants that you see on the outside and even inside the building are thanks to my mama and the company she works for. She has had her knee replaced in the last two years, so you may even see her hobbling around from her truck to the planter beds with her tools and her watering can. She's like a little worker bee flitting from one planter bed to the next.

I've asked her so many times why she doesn't take on a management position and get people to work under her planting and watering and what-not, but her joy, her happy place is working in the dirt. When I see how big she smiles when she's working, I can't resist but smile with her. She's more outgoing and will talk to people she would normally never even think about talking to. It's like putting on her cape and going into superhero mode when she's working with her plants. I love watching her, and think every time that I hope I find something someday that I am that passionate about. She deserves to be happy, and I'm glad that she's found something that makes her happy and that she occasionally gets to share that gift with me.

Which brings it back to me. I spent the weekend in a spiritual bliss of music infusion. I went to a yoga concert on Friday at Liberation Yoga where we practiced yoga and then sat on our mats and were serenaded by two of the most beautifully blended voices I've heard in a long time. We listened to the angelic sounds of Mishelbe, a dynamic duo of two petite yogis (Michelle and Shelby) who met at yoga teacher training and found out they can make beautiful music together. We even got to join in when they broke into mantras in the middle of their songs. The way they incorporated ancient sound currents into modern music and words was phenomenal, and I'm so grateful that I got to experience it. Oh, and I got to experience it not only once, but twice, because they just happened to play again on Sunday at a Kirtan I attended at the Music City Center for Spiritual Living with my beautiful mama. I'm a little obsessed with them right now, so this probably won't be the last time you hear about them.

Oh, and all of this after the ending of the season of The Voice, which I watched every episode glued to the TV with the thought, "I want to do that. I should be up there" running through my head over and over and over as if it were a mantra. I feel so called to sing right now that it's a little scary, and the fact that I'm even sharing this in this media is even more scary to me. As I listened to the music of Mishelbe, I couldn't help but think that I wanted to do that, that it could have been me up there. It could still be me up there. Maybe I'll get up there and realize that's not my dream or my purpose, but I just started to follow Taylor Swift on Instagram where she's posting photos from her concerts. I have to say that seeing her in her glitter and sequins up on stage, I can't imagine anything else I would want to do right now. I just have to find the courage to get up on stage. Who wants to give me a shove? Don't think this is going to be an easy task, y'all! I spent the last two years finding a voice that I didn't even realize I had lost, and even this blog is a testament to the progress that I've made. For now, this is my stage.

But wait, why are we here? Happiness! That's right. So, every morning (at least when I remember), I look myself in the eye (in the mirror) and read myself a note that I wrote to my inner child in my sister circle a while back. I know I've posted it before, but I'm going to post it again, because maybe you need to hear it again, too.

You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. You don't need anyone else's approval but your own. Go play! Do what makes you happy. Wake up every morning and do what brings you joy. If something makes you happy, don't let anyone take it from you. Surround yourself in beauty and love and people who support that in you. Everything you create is beautiful. Just be you.

And then I take a deep breath and really let that settle into my bones. Some days I'll add another affirmation onto the end of it if there's something else I need to hear, but most days, this does the trick. Lately, though, I've been questioning myself on what truly makes me happy. What brings joy to my life and my days? And now that I'm reflecting on that, it's those days that I'm truly in the flow, moving smoothly from one activity, one connection to the next that make me truly happy. The soul level connections with like-minded people make me so happy that I could squeal! And I have not been giving myself enough of those lately. I've been trying to do it on my own, which is obviously one of my patterns that I get to work on. I'm so excited that my sister circle has decided to do a check-in every other week through the summer that will allow me to be surrounded by these beautiful beings who love and support me and allow me a non-judgemental platform to be heard. I wish this same happiness and love for you.

I would love to hear from you how you connect with others. What makes you happy? Why haven't you done that yet today?? You deserve it! You deserve to be happy!

Much love,
Emily