Give Thanks, Lack is Just an Illusion

It really is.  Lack is an illusion that we create when we forget or just stop being grateful for the beautiful things that come into our lives.  This is yet another lesson that I have learned several times over the last year, well, really over my life.

Let's talk about money for a minute.  It's something that we are taught from a young age that we can't live without.  It's something that we're taught to keep track of, spend wisely, only buy things you have money for, don't use credit cards, and so many other things. So, what happens when we don't have enough, or at least think we don't?  We freak out!

I spent a very large part of my life tracking every penny I spent.  I put Microsoft Money on my computer and sat down at the end of every day and input my spending for the day.  My budget was tracked on there and my bills were tracked in there so that I knew exactly where every one of my hard-earned pennies was going.  The fun part about this was when we were on a debt repayment plan and could watch the debt charts decreasing as the savings increased.  The not-so-fun part about this was that I was spending at least 30 minutes of every day obsessing about money and worrying about where everything was going.  It kept me from living my life the way I wanted to live it.

Oh my gosh, over the last couple years, I threw all of that out the window.  I did everything the exact opposite of what they told me to do!  You know what??  Who cares?  I could beat myself up.  I could moan and complain about how I don't have enough money to go get a pedicure or go out to lunch with a friend or whatever.  Or I could just forget all that and find gratitude for the things I have.  I have amazing friends who want to have lunch with me, and I have lunch with them when it's meant to happen, even if I'm only buying a $2 cup of soup while they buy lavish meals.  I don't let things like this stop me from enjoying the camaraderie and love I feel when I'm surrounded by some of my favorite people.

At some point over the last five years, my therapist recommended I start a Gratitude Journal.  It's not a new idea (Oprah does it!), but it is a life changer.  The idea is to find at least three things throughout the day that you're grateful for.  There are Facebook Pages devoted to this concept where you can login and share the things you're grateful for.  There are accountability coaches who check in with you every day to make sure you've logged your gratitudes.  At first, I was writing them down in an actual journal.  In the last few months, I've actually started a text string now with my family, and pretty much every day, we list three things we're grateful for.  It sometimes doesn't happen a few days in a row when we're very busy, but when we need it, it's there for us.  The changes I can see in my outlook, and the group outlook is amazing after just a few days in a row of logging our gratitudes.

Along those same lines, a few years ago, I noticed that a work friend of mine was posting things she was thankful for every day during the month of November.  It's such a neat practice leading up to Thanksgiving that I have adopted it, too!  Taking those few minutes every day to just stop and feel sincere gratitude for something or someone amazing in my life (and isn't it all amazing??), brings me into my body, into a state of well-being, into a state of gratitude and really improves my outlook and my mood.  This has been a game-changer for me, so I wanted to share it with you.  This Thursday, when the turkey and stuffing are on the table, take a minute to look around and give thanks for the people sitting at your table.  Maybe you can even take a minute to speak out loud the things you're grateful for in each of those people.  And don't forget to give thanks to the Universe (I use this interchangeably with what you may call God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Yaweh) for bringing the abundance of food, people, and prosperity (whatever you're feeling grateful for) into your life.

And at this point, you've probably already forgotten about your lack (or the illusion that society has created).  If not, don't give up yet!  Since it's an illusion, all it takes is just another perspective, so here are some more helpful tools that I've collected over the last few years.

1. "Need" implies lack. Just the words that we use can create situations in our lives.  There have been studies that show that some words have higher frequencies that make us happy, and some have lower frequencies that make us heavy, sad or depressed.  "Need" is one of those words that I'm working to eliminate from my vocabulary.  If I catch myself using it, I'll stop and change my statement from "I need that shirt." to "I want that shirt."  Am I really lacking that shirt?  No.  What would happen if I didn't have that shirt?  Not much, really.  So, I really do "want" that shirt, not "need" it.  So, I find the beauty in the shirts that I already have, and I attract more of those into my life.  This works for everything, shirts were just an easy example.
2. This brings me to my next tool, The Law of Attraction.  If you haven't heard of it yet, you can read about it here, but this is my take on it.  Basically, what you focus on brings more of that into your life.  So, what happens when you focus on the "lack" in your life?  You'll bring more of that in.  Which brings us full circle back to gratitude.  What happens when you show gratitude for the things you already have in your life?  You're going to bring more of that into your life.
3. Which brings me to the next tool: affirmations.  There are so many out there, but one that I'm using right now is, "I am now open to receive the loving gifts that the Universe brings to me and to everyone."  I think this may have come from Doreen Virtue, but I don't remember exactly where it came into my life.  I have a reminder set on my phone to sit with this affirmation every morning after my daily practice.  There are so many others out there that I could share, but one will come to you that resonates with you.  When you find it, sit with it.  Love it.  Let it help you.
4. Another great tool is meditations and mantras.  Meditation recently brought so many good things into my life. For me, it was the Kundalini Meditation for Prosperity II.  It came into my life when I was at a low point financially, and it has already started to bring so much good into my life after just a week of practicing it.  I can't wait to see what else it brings. (Something I want to point out here, though, is that the good comes in different ways for everyone.  It might not be someone on the street handing you money, although that could totally happen. Let's not rule it out completely.  For me, it is coming in ideas or offers for me to help others on their journey in exchange for funds.  I am forming new relationships almost every day that are bringing in new opportunities, and for each of those relationships and opportunities, I am so very grateful!)
5. Make way for more good to come into your life. Get rid of the clutter.  I am reminded of this almost every day.  My healer shared with me in one of my classes that we should remove 7 things from our home every day.  At first, I thought there was no way I would be able to maintain that for an extended period of time, but even after the mass purges that happened last year when I sold my house, I am still able to maintain this.  It is absolutely amazing how much stuff we bring into our homes every day.  Go through your purse or wallet.  I'd be willing to bet there are seven things in there that you could get rid of right now.  You don't have to just donate it or throw it in the garbage.  Sell it, have a garage sale or list it on Craigslist or Ebay.  And then, just notice how much lighter you feel when it's gone.  And then notice what good things come into your life in its place.  (Just a little side note here, if there's something that makes you sad to get rid of, hold onto it for another minute.  Ask yourself what it is about that thing that you're holding on to.  There might be some emotions attached to it that you need to process before you can release it.  This might be a good opportunity to ask for help in your releasing.  If you need it, I'd be happy to refer you to someone.  I have a network of people who can help!)

So, I'm going to wrap this up by making note of three things that I'm grateful for today.

1. I'm grateful for the sun that shines even on cloudy days.
2. I'm grateful for the Nashville Center for Alternative Therapies, and the healing opportunities, relationships and earning potential it has brought into my life and will continue to bring. (Check out their Indiegogo campaign here.  You can get some great services and help fund the center at the same time!)
3. I'm grateful for my family and friends who continue to support me through my awakening and have brought many blessings and lessons into my life.

Universe, thank you for providing everything I want when I want it.  Thank you for the blessings you have bestowed upon me and the entire human race.  I now open my arms to receiving the loving gifts that the Universe brings to me and to everyone.

Much love,
Emily Rose

P.S. I have secured an indoor space for RunYogaLove! Details will be posted on the Facebook page soon!  I'll see you all this Saturday for a beautiful sunrise run/walk and yoga!

Lesson of the Week - Ask for Help!

This has been a crazy ride, and I'm so glad that it's slowing down a little.  This week has been a great lesson for me on when to ask for help.  In some cases, I latched on to it and learned from it; in others, not so much, but Universe, I hear you!  I'm a little sad to say, actually, that I've been taught this lesson before, and it didn't stick, so please, dear God, let it stick this time.  And for you readers out there, ask for help before you need it!!!

Lesson #1 - Don't ever deposit cash into an ATM

Yes, I was that girl who drove up to the bank on Tuesday, December 11 (a.k.a. Veteran's Day) and realized that it was a bank holiday.  I had money (a huge wad of cash) I needed to get in there before I paid my mortgage on Friday (which - yes - was a little overdue, but that's a story for another time).  I turned my car toward the drive-through ATM, because I noticed the last few times I used it that they had a different system that allows you to put bills in, counts it and puts it right into your account.  That's exactly the way it happens, right?  However, on Tuesday, I dutifully counted out my 40 bills that it would allow me to put in and held on to the others for Round 2.  Round 1 was a knockout, though, and I didn't fare so well.  The ATM took my money fine, counted it so-so, decided that some of the bills were unreadable (whatever that means) and proceeded to attempt to spit my money back out at me so that I could put it back in for a second count.  My money never came back out!  And then...it cancelled my transaction.  Geesh!

I was shocked!  I had never had this happen before, the bank was closed, and I had no idea what to do.  So, I sat in front of the ATM and called the 1-800 number listed on the machine while cars behind me waited.  I could see the frustration growing on the drivers behind me, so once I was on hold, I got out of my car (still parked in front of the ATM) and walked back to let them know the situation and also to let them know that I was not leaving the ATM until I knew that it was not going to spit my money out to the lucky customer behind me.  The other drivers rolled their eyes and drove off in search of another ATM mumbling something about people being crazy enough to put cash in an ATM.

When someone finally came on the line to help me, they assured me that my money was safely inside the ATM and was not going to come back out.  They then proceeded to send me to the claims/fraud prevention department so that I could file a claim.  The lovely gentlemen in the fraud department took my information and, reading from his script, informed me that it would be up to 10 days before my account was credited if they found that my claim was accurate.  That was all the information he had, and that was all the help he was going to give me.

"What about my bills?  I have to pay my bills on Friday!"  I pleaded with the man.

To which he responded that I could pay them, and the bank may refund any overdraft fees.  MAY refund overdraft fees.  Let me get this straight, your ATM is holding my cash hostage, you're not going to give it back for 10 days (more than a week!), and you may reimburse overdraft fees if they incur?  How did this happen??  How did banks get so out of control and so distant??  I decided not to fight with the accented man on the phone and walk into the branch on Thursday to talk to someone face-to-face, mano a mano.  This was the soonest I could do it, because I work on Wednesday the same hours the bank is open.

Wednesday morning rolled around, and I couldn't resist calling the branch to check in.  The lovely woman who answered the phone listened patiently to my story and then informed me that they have no control over such things and that I would have to call the claims/fraud department at the 1-800 number.  Would I like that number?  W...T...F???  I informed her that I had already done that, and asked if they didn't have a way to get into the ATM and get my money out.  She said that even if they could, they couldn't just put my money back in my account without going through the fraud/claims department.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm glad they have these policies in place to discourage fraud, but there are some honest people in the world who are being hurt by these policies!

Then, like any scorn member of the general public, I proceeded to open my Facebook account and ask if friends had a small, local bank they used that I could switch to.  I didn't give any information about the bank, just that they were holding over $1k of my money hostage in their ATM.  Several hours later, I received a text from Beck letting me know that a friend of ours has a person at one of the other branches who said she could help and she would be there until 7. (Apparently there are still branches inside grocery stores, and they're open hours that other branches aren't.  Who knew??)  Thank goodness for social media!  The heavens opened up, the angelic choir sang, I got the info and beelined straight there after work.

The woman turned out to be the assistant manager of the branch and was incredibly helpful and informative, and ended up getting a better idea of a timeline as well as helped me get cash out to pay my mortgage.  She also asked if I needed any extra funds to tide me over until my money was back where it should be, to which I said, "I have become an expert at not spending money."  This will come back up in Lesson #2, so hold on to that for a minute.  So, Lesson #1 - Don't deposit money into an ATM also turned out to be Ask for Help!

Lesson #2 - Don't let your gas tank go below 1/8 tank!

Y'all know that little "range" feature they put on cars now that tells you how many miles you can drive before your gas tank goes dry?  Well, I live by mine.  When I was spending money as if it had no value, I made sure my tank didn't go below the 100 mile range.  When I started getting a little tighter, I cut back to the 25 mile range.  Well, when I was asked if I needed extra cash, I was at about 45 miles remaining.  I also didn't think about the fact that my account was going to be in the overdraft category until my money is back in there, which meant that I wouldn't be able to use my debit card to refill my tank.  Even when I realized that I couldn't use my card, I thought I would make it through the weekend of training and would be able to get to the gas station on Monday when my money was back or at least I could get over to get some more cash from that beautiful woman at the bank.

Thursday, I was ok.  Friday, I was down to 11 miles to go when I left for training in the morning.  It's only 4 miles to training.  I debated walking, but it was cold, and I had bags with books and so many other excuses not to.  So, I set off to the studio without thinking that I had to go home for lunch (no cash and all I had to eat needed to be warmed up).  On my way back to the studio, I actually turned the digital display to something else, told myself I had another 30 miles to go and prayed that I would make it to the studio without being stranded on the side of the road.  It worked!

During training, I couldn't stop thinking about how I was going to get home, so I texted Beck.  He had just set up a night with the niece and nephew and wasn't going to be able to pick me up from the studio because he had to run home first.  I then texted my mom, whom I've been desperately trying to convince that I was okay and making it on my own and didn't need help.  In my mind, by sending this text, I was admitting defeat.  It was one of the hardest texts I've had to send.  And, of course, her response was that she would absolutely help me however she could.  She showed up at the studio at 6 pm with a gas can and some cash for me to go to the gas station on my way home and a little extra in case I needed it.  That woman is a saint!  She doesn't like driving at night, and she did that for me because I was too proud to ask for help before I needed it.  She works her butt off at a job where she doesn't get paid anywhere near what she's worth, because she loves what she does, and she willingly handed over cash to me.  All because she loves me unconditionally.  I just wish I could have asked for help before it was so pressing.  So, Lesson #2 - Don't let your gas tank get below 1/8 tank is also a mama's love is unconditional and ask for help before you need it.

Lesson #3 - Talk to your roommate!

My roommate is amazing!  We have a great relationship.  We both bake, so there's more flour in this condo than any two people should rightly possess.  He has cats and takes really good care of mine when I'm not here.  He loves live music and loves sharing that with people close to him.  He exposed me to Bonnaroo (a.k.a. The Land of Happy).  And he took me in when I wanted to be back in Nashville.  He doesn't judge anyone and tells it straight, regardless of who he's talking to.  He's authentic and bold and just really pretty refreshing in a world of people pleasers and ladder climbers.  Before and while we've lived together, I've talked to him about everything except finances.  When I realized that I was behind on the majority of my bills and not really sure how I was going to catch back up, I started exploring the idea of moving in with my parents just to catch up.  The idea of telling him made me feel sad and nervous.  The idea of moving again made me feel sad and a little stressed.  When I finally got up the nerve to tell my roommate that I was going to have to move out, he offered me options that would help me catch up and be able to stay in what has become my home.  Like I said, he's amazing!  So, Lesson #3 - Talk to your roommate became yet another example of how it's ok to ask for help.

Lesson #4 - Ask for Help from the Angels!

I have learned over the last few years that the Law of Free Will prevents the angels from helping unless we ask for it and also to speak about it as if it's already there.  Even braced with that knowledge, I still forget to ask for help sometimes.  I was reminded twice this weekend at training that I can ask for help with my finances.  The Kundalini way of asking for help is through meditation.  The Meditation for Prosperity (II) was brought up to me twice by two different people in two completely different circumstances this weekend, so I decided to add it to my daily sadhana.  I started it yesterday morning, and already yesterday afternoon, I received messages that my finances were improving.  Remember Doreen Virtue's Angel Numbers from my previous post?  Well, this is what I saw on the license plate in front of me at the stop light last night!

A beautiful sign from the Angels that all is well!

Today, I received a request from a friend to house-sit.  I also received guidance yesterday that I need to revise my yoga resume and distribute it to studios to get more classes on the books.  I was given the time today to do that.  I had a referral for a private yoga client last week.  I am forming a new relationship with the Nashville Center for Alternative Therapies.  I am teaching the refugee and immigrant children yoga twice this week.  So, Lesson #4 - Ask for Help from the Angels becomes ask for help and you shall receive it.  Just listen to and follow the guidance they provide!

I'm so grateful for all of these lessons!  I'm grateful for my increased cash flow, and I'm grateful for the medium to share these lessons and knowledge with you.  Thank you so much for sticking with me through all of this!  It was a long one!  I hope you've enjoyed it, and maybe there's a lesson for you in there somewhere.

There will be no RunYogaLove this weekend while Beck and I are taking a trip to northern Georgia to celebrate one year together.  I am so in love with this man! I'll be back at it on November 29, so join me to burn off the calories from Thanksgiving!

Much love,
Emily Rose

Finding Center

If you've taken a yoga class, you've probably heard the instructor talk about finding your center.  You may know what that means, you may not.  It's kind of one of those things that they can talk and talk and talk about, but you won't get it until that first time you experience it.  Finding center to me is the first time you feel your breath travel all the way down your spine and then back up; when you're focus is on you and no one else in the room; the time you come into tree pose and your balance is perfect and the pose is effortless; the calm, the ease, the love.  I've learned to love my center in my yoga practice and have also come to love helping others find theirs as a teacher.

Oddly enough, I've spent the last year attempting to find center in my life.  Like an enormous pendulum, I've been swinging from one extreme to the other: spending money like a fiend and then realizing there's none left; binging on food and then not wanting to eat anything for days; eating candy until I want to puke and then abstaining for a month; sleeping with anyone with legs and then donning my chastity belt for a month.  Healing, healing, healing, working on myself, working on myself, working on myself, resting, resting...resting......please, just let me sleep.

I spent so many years letting my self go and living someone else's life that I spent a big chunk of 2013 splurging on myself and giving myself anything I wanted.  In turn, I've spent a big chunk of 2014 denying myself many of those pleasures so that I could pay my bills and my debt from 2013.  I worked for so long in corporate America that I refused for a long time to have anything to do with anything that even remotely resembled working for a corporation.  I avoided teaching in yoga studios, because it meant that someone else would have control over my teaching, only to guide meditations in a small, locally owned business that encouraged me not to use terms in my meditations that would trigger the masses.

As I discussed in a previous post, I have had a bad habit of making myself super busy that I'm still working on breaking.  Over the last year, I did the same thing, but it was with things that I wanted to do.  Someone would tell me about something that sounded interesting, I would get excited about it, and I would add it to my calendar. Suddenly, reminders would start popping up to go to a yoga class at the same time I was supposed to be meeting my best friend for lunch, or I would be scheduled to work a job that was exciting to me on the same day I wanted to be in a tent near a waterfall.  It's amazing how easy that is to do!

Suddenly, I remembered that I could say no, even to things I wanted to do.  I made sure that I had gaps in my calendar so that I wasn't rushing from one thing to another.  I made sure I had a day off to relax, even if it meant saying no to watching my adorable nephew.  I made sure I had at least one day in my week that I could wake up and do whatever I wanted to do.  I'm finding more and more odds and ends ways to make money where I earn a little closer to what I'm worth.  I'm swinging a little lower every time, not going as far to the extremes, coming a little closer to center with each swing.  It feels good.  Life is feeling good - consistently good - not the extremes like before.  I'm finding my center, and I know that I'll be there soon.  I hope you are, too!

Much love,
Emily Rose

The Great Spiritual Teacher, Siri Avtar Kaur

In Kundalini Yoga, when you're a serious practitioner, you can apply to 3HO (Happy, Healthy, Holy Organization) to get your spiritual name.  When I started reading in my text book about spiritual names, I thought it would be kind of neat to have one, so I got on the website and did some research.  According to Yogi Bhajan, "You are all here; we’ll share with you every moment of your life, and we will ask you to understand your spiritual incarnation and your spiritual name, and try to find out the strength to live it.  Without finding that strength to live your spiritual identity, life will be a waste, and we don’t want it to be wasted."

It also said to only apply if you were serious and going to use the name.  Hmmm...I wasn't sure at the time how serious I was or whether I was ready for my name yet.  However, after talking to one of my teachers after class one night, she encouraged me to go for it.  I got on the website again, put in my name, gender, birthday, a little information about myself and made a donation to the organization.  A few days later, I received an email with my spiritual name.  Here's what it said:

You have been blessed to live as Siri Avtar Kaur, the Princess/Lioness of God who embodies spiritual greatness through her ability to teach and guide others.

Siri means great.  Avtar is incarnation, embodiment, manifestation, spiritual teacher.  Kaur is a name that all women receive - the Princess/Lioness of God who walks with grace and strength throughout her life.  Yogi Bhajan taught that every woman has the potential to attain this divine state and encouraged all to manifest it.

Use the rich vibrational capacity of your name, Siri Avtar Kaur, to manifest your soul’s gift – that you can easily become the embodiment of a greatness that gives you the ability to teach and guide others.  Remember God with every breath to allow you to manifest who you really are.  In this way you will effortlessly uplift and guide those around to look to their highest consciousness.

The power of your spiritual name is that the more you speak and hear it, the more it permeates your being, opening you to experience its nadh (universal inner sound current). Consciously merge with the vibration of the nadh to come into harmony with your highest destiny.

Oh my gosh!  Oh my gosh! Oh my GOSH!  I got my spiritual name!  I was like a little kid on Christmas the day it came. I wanted to tell the world and let them know that

I have a spiritual name!!!

Wait...that's a little intense.  The Great Spiritual Teacher??  What does that mean??  What am I supposed to do??  What am I meant to teach?  Am I really all that great?  Who am I to teach anything??  What if I don't know enough to teach?  STOP! (This is actually a really effective way to stop the self doubt and negative self talk.  If you haven't tried it yet, you should!) Take a breath!  Everything I've learned so far has taught me to have faith; to know that I am taken care of; to know that I'm taking the steps in the right direction; to know that there's a bigger plan and a reason that I'm here.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'm already doing it!  I'm finding my way to my divine purpose using my divine path every day.  Every breath, every step, every move, every training is taking me one step closer.  Every time I am grateful for something in my life, every time I share that gratitude with someone else, I am learning and I am teaching by sharing that gift with the world.

That said, every time someone has told me in the last year that I was an inspiration to them, I was terrified. What if they fail? What if they don't find the joy in it that I have? What if? What if? What if?? Then I take a breath, and I remember that whatever they do, whatever choices they make, it is their path.  It is their step in the direction of their divine life purpose.  It is their karma to learn in this lifetime.

I am nowhere near being The Great Spiritual Teacher yet, and I know you can't become a great teacher without having great teachers.  I have had way too many teachers to begin to individually list all of them today, but I will give thanks to them in my own way and in my own time.  I have one who I would like to thank today right here, right now.  Ron Browning, my voice coach who I found through the Nashville Jazz Workshop (amazing place, you should check it out), shared with me in one of my first lessons last year that I am just God's instrument and to let the sound flow through me.  It helped me have the confidence to stand up in front of the class and sing, which is something I hadn't done in years, and it has helped me dramatically in my yoga.  I have used that before every yoga class I have ever taught.  When I don't feel like I have the knowledge, the courage or the strength to teach a class, I say to myself, "I am God's instrument.  Please help me give these students what they need today." And then I relax and let it flow, and I know that whatever I'm teaching them is what they are meant to learn in that specific moment.

I will continue to learn more every day so that I can be a better teacher.  I am so honored to continue to share my lessons with you in the hopes that they will help you in some way, and I have a favor to ask of you in return.  The neat thing about spiritual names is that the more you say them and the more people say them to you, the more you grow into that vibration.  So, the next time you see me (if it resonates with you) please feel free to call me by my spiritual name, Siri Avtar Kaur, and I will do my best to grow into it.

Much love and sat nam,
Siri Avtar Kaur (a.k.a. Emily Rose)