My Next Step

When I thought of the title of this blog, I was thinking that it meant the next step in my life, and we'll definitely go into that, but as I started to type, I thought of how many times I've been running and thought to myself, "Just think of my next step as the first step."  Or, "My next step is going to be an amazing one."  Or maybe, "How am I going to get past this next step??"  When you're struggling and tired, thinking about that next step and placing it perfectly can make all the difference in the world.

That said, when I was struggling in my life, I realized that I believe in angels.  They're everywhere around me - guiding me, protecting me, watching over me and giving me advice when I ask for it.  Doreen Virtue is one of those people who showed up in my life when I needed her.  Her angel cards and angel numbers books have been a staple in my life for several years now.  Part of what she talks about in her books is signs from the angels and how to interpret them.  I downloaded her Angel Numbers app on my phone, and use it when I'm sitting at a red light to look up the numbers I see on license plates.  For a long time, the messages I was getting were to stay positive and expect positive outcomes.  After my thinking changed, I started seeing messages that said I'm on the right track.  Then, I started seeing messages telling me that I need to focus completely on a spiritually based career.  I'm still not sure completely what that looks like or what that means, but I'm still getting those messages that I'm on the right path and to keep moving forward and keep going.  To keep up!

Which brings me to sharing my next step in my journey.  This morning, I saw the number 979, which brings the message, "Your decision to completely focus on your spiritually based career is correct."  I started Kundalini Level I teacher training last month at Kundalini Rising.  It was something I signed up for last fall or winter and it got postponed because they didn't have enough people sign up.  My options were to travel to Asheville every month or to wait until this fall.  When this fall came around, I had completely forgotten about the training and that I had already paid in full for the classes.

I got an email one day talking about how excited they were to see me in the studio on Friday of that week.  I panicked.  I work on Friday!  I teach yoga on Saturdays!  How was I going to make this work?  I talked to my employer, and it was too short notice for me to get off on Friday.  I sent a hopeful email to my fellow yoga instructors to see if anyone could sub my class for me.  I looked for excuses not to go, sending an email to the studio owner asking if I was paid, because I couldn't pay for the classes right now; asking if it was okay to miss the first Friday of training, because I couldn't get off work on such short notice.  I thought to myself that if she said no, I just wasn't going to do the training this time around.  I was resisting the idea of the training.  I was scared.  I knew deep down at a soul level that this training was going to change me, and we all resist change to some extent, no matter whether it's good or bad.

Once I had completely talked myself out of the training, I received an email back saying that yes, I was paid in full, and yes, it was okay for me to miss Friday.  "We'll see you on Saturday."  Yikes!  This is happening; I'm committed.  That Saturday, I sucked up every drop of courage I had and walked into the studio, part of me kicking and screaming and grabbing onto the doorways with legs flailing the whole way in.  We practiced Kundalini that day, and I hadn't practiced in almost a year.  The next morning, I woke up at 3:30 to make it to the 5 a.m. Sadhana (daily practice that's meant to start before the sun rises), something I had never even heard of before I started this training.  My stomach was churning.  My solar plexus felt like it was having its own little solar flares, and I almost didn't go.  I'm glad I went, though.  I'm seeing changes, and they're good.  I can breathe again, and I didn't realize that even in my vinyasa classes, I hadn't been taking full, long, deep breaths.  It feels good to breathe.

I went back this weekend for more training, and it was challenging in a very different way.  We practiced a kriya (set of exercises and breathing) Saturday morning called the Sat Nam Kriya as part of the Surya (Sun) Kriya, and then again Saturday afternoon.  It was really hard for me.  I struggled with it a lot, almost as much as I did when I first starting taking hot classes in my vinyasa teacher training last fall.  When I walked into Sadhana Sunday morning, we did the same kriya in the same set from Saturday morning.  I was angry.  I was challenged.  I found myself dedicated to the practice, even though I hated every second of it.  When we finished, I found myself smiling and laughing at how angry I was.  I was uplifted.  I left my anger on the mat and enjoyed the rest of my day.  Every month of our training, we have homework.  I found out yesterday that this month, it's a set that includes Sat Nam Kriya, and a meditation for the heart.  As I prepared myself for the kriya, I found myself excited about it.  I knew it was going to be challenging.  I knew it was going to bring up some emotions/anger, but I was excited for the changes it was going to bring.  I can't wait to practice it again today, and the day after, and the day after until we meet again.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Kundalini practice, it's an ancient practice that was brought to the states by a man named Yogi Bhajan.  It's a practice to bring you to a state of higher awareness, higher consciousness.  It's a beautiful practice that allows you to go through  your day smiling instead of noticing and reacting to anything that's happening around you.  It's a journey.  It helps you smile more and keep up.  I would love to share it with you sometime.  Just ask!

So, this is my next step on my journey.  I'll keep you posted on the changes that happen over the next several months, but for now, I would love for you to join me on my adventure of running and yoga.  Every Saturday, we meet at 6:30 am at the ampitheater in Bicentennial Mall for a 30 minute run/walk, and then a 50-60 minute yoga practice.  You set the pace, so come on out for a little RunYogaLove.

Much love and Sat Nam,
Emily Rose

Solar Powered

I have been accused of being solar powered. On the days that turn into weeks when we have cloudy, overcast days, my energy levels plummet. Running and yoga level that out. It's almost like they open up a channel for the sun to shine in even on the days when I can't actually see it. This week has been especially hard on me. Not only has there been very little sun, but I also have not allowed the time for myself to go play and run outside (which I will do in the rain, too, most of the time).  There was also that pesky little Mercury who happens to be in retrograde right now, peaking this week. If you don't know about the effects of Mercury in retrograde, just google it. You will find a plethora of websites devoted to educating the general public about this astrological event that happens 2-3 times every year. The moon happens to be traveling through cancer right now, so the emotional moon and the emotional cancer have joined in on this especially sensitive time to create the perfect storm and make me a moody mess. Lucky for me (and anyone who gets the extreme pleasure of relating with me this week), there is also yoga, a perfect indoor activity when the skies are opening up on us!  I'm looking forward to my time on the mat today almost as much as I'm looking forward to the sunshine the meteorologist has promised me at the end of the week.  The meditative run we will take this weekend and the beautiful yoga practice after will be a great way to continue to release all of the emotions and frustrations that have built up through the week. I hope you'll join us!

How Yoga and Running Saved My Life

I was stuck. I had been working in a career I didn't love for way too long and was married to a man who I was no longer in love with. When you're in a situation like that for too long, you become numb. You find ways to stop feeling like there's something bigger out there. I turned to alcohol and busy-ness.  My ex-husband and I went to bars and drank heavily almost every day of the week. Our "friends" were people we could sit and drink with and talk about anything but what was really on our minds and in our hearts. I joined every organization I could find, and took on officer and committee positions in those organizations, even creating a section for the Society of Women Engineers, just so that I didn't have time to sit and think about how miserable I was. Of course, I didn't realize this was what I was doing. It just happened. I am grateful for this period in my life, because it showed me in a very big way what I didn't want.

In a way, I was trying to connect with people, but I was going about it in a way that was hurting me. I'm not sure if you know this, but alcohol is a depressant. So, if you're already depressed, it's probably not the best thing to turn to. Yes, it may have put a bandaid (a.k.a. blinders) on the problem temporarily, but in the long run, it actually made me feel worse. Then I started to notice that the nights we went out drinking were the nights that we were fighting. The fights got bigger and worse. I didn't hate him. I hated myself when I was with him. We had grown apart. When I finally realized it was only making things worse, I stopped drinking.  Yes, I went back to it a few times, and still pick up a drink occasionally when they're especially creative, but quitting was one of the best decisions of my life. Yoga and running also helped with this decision, because I started to notice that when I drank, I couldn't practice or run as well or maybe even at all.  When I stopped, I noticed that my practice became stronger.  I became stronger.

As far as my busy-ness goes, making yourself busy is a good way to increase your blood pressure, cause eating disorders, and destroy any chance at inner peace. I was a good example of that, since I was at nearly 200 pounds and eating pretty much anything you put in front of me when I was at my worst.  I was chronically exhausted, but I pushed myself to do more and sleep less.  I didn't exercise. I lost my yoga practice. Ironically, while I was at work, I was searching for activities that would help me feel better, working with HR to develop a wellness program which included yoga, boot camp, dragon boating, and other ways to be active and connect with my coworkers. I was voicing complaints about my manager's style and questioning why I wasn't getting enough work to keep me busy, why the work I wanted to do was being given to someone else. One of my bosses even said something like this to a coworker, "Keep her busy, find something to keep her busy.  When she's busy, she stops questioning everything." I was questioning the system, the organization, the corporation.  But it wasn't them that was the problem.  It was me.  I didn't fit there.  I didn't want to be there.  I have a bigger purpose in my life than that. In February of this year, I left my engineering career. I had no idea what I was going to do or where I was going to go, but I had enough money saved up that I could detox from that life for a couple of months before I had to worry about it.

Of course, in the midst of all of this was when I found my saving grace. As I was searching for something to help me feel, I started riding my bike.  I signed up for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team-in-Training and completed two century rides with them. While training for the second century ride, I organized an ice cream social as a fundraiser for part of my team.  Leah Lillios, the owner of Kali Yuga Yoga, walked into that ice cream social and changed my life forever.  I was looking for a way to tame my stress and make myself feel better, and as we talked about the studio she was opening in East Nashville and how I was moving to East Nashville, I made the decision that I would try it.  Oh, and we'll talk about the word try in a different post, but that's exactly what I did.  I tried a class here and there and didn't really take it seriously.  The last two years of my marriage, I immersed myself in my yoga practice, attending classes regularly, finding teachers who questioned me and pushed me to find myself and open up to who I really was. During this time, I was also seeing a therapist and an acupuncturist to help with the stress from work and my relationships and to deal with the feelings that were coming up. My therapist lead me to my energy healer, and all of these people worked with me and complimented each other in my healing.

At some point, my therapist recommended some type of physical activity, and my healer honed in on the running.  Running was something I had done when I was younger when I needed to get away from my family, like when my sister and I had a fight and I needed to get that anger out of my system, I ran. When I started running again, it felt so natural.  It felt peaceful and happy.  Then, the runner's high kicked in, and the happiness really began.  It became an addiction (a healthy one??), something I needed daily in order to feel good.  At the same time I started running, I began my yoga teacher training.  As part of my training, I had to attend at least five yoga classes every week in addition to the eight hours each week we were spending with our instructors.  I was running before classes, and using the classes to stretch and cool down afterward.  While I'm not sure I would recommend running before a hot yoga class, running before a restorative class was pretty fantastic.

Running and yoga turned out to be the things I could do for myself in order to heal and feel good. I don't need anyone else to do these for me or with me. If I'm diligent in my practice, I feel good all day, every day.  The time in my life when I was doing both was when I really started to open up to all of the good that the universe had given and continues to give me every day.  Once I started to open up and be a happier version of me thanks to the running and yoga, I met an amazing man who loves to run with me, who runs next to me, not in front of me, who supports me in everything I do, including my yoga.  And I am so glad that he is sharing Run❤️Yoga❤️Love with me!  He happens to be running the Ragnar this weekend with some of my amazing friends, and I will be at kundalini yoga level 1 training, but we have an amazing sub to help take you to the next level. Please bring your running shoes and mat to the ampitheater at Bicentennial Mall at 6:30 am and Run❤️Yoga❤️Love!

Much Love,

Emily Rose

Why Combine Running and Yoga??

These are just some musings that I had this morning as I lie in bed with my crystals focusing on my breathing.  I hope you enjoy!

I think a lot of people understand the benefits of yoga for a runner, but I'm not sure everyone understands the benefit of running for yogis (a person who practices yoga for you not-quite-yogis-yet).  I'll start by discussing the benefits of yoga for runners if you're not quite there yet.  Running (or walking) is so good for your body in many ways, but it can also take its toll if you do it a lot.  

Here are a few examples of why yoga is good for runners!

©      If you favor one foot or leg over the other, you may build up one side of your body more than the other, causing your bones to be misaligned and leading to injuries.  Practicing yoga can help balance that back out, and while it may or may not change your gait, it will certainly allow you to continue running and doing what you love.

©      If you’re running every day, your body is going to get fatigued in one way or another.  Even if you’re stretching before and after a run, our muscles get tight and start to pull at our bones and can lead to injury.  Yoga lengthens and tones those muscles to better allow them to propel us along the trail, road, sidewalk or greenway.

©      Yoga can greatly increase the muscle recovery after a run.  A true yogic breath draws so much oxygen into the body that will be carried to the muscles and allow them to recover that much faster.  Plus, if you add the yoga poses to that breath, it helps the oxygen get to those muscles!

©      Yoga can get deep into those muscles that you might not get to with regular runners’ stretches or doing your 10 minute stretch session after your run.  That’s right, I used to be one of those people, and still am occasionally…

Ok, now why is running good for yogis??

©      Running is grounding.  Yep, those feet hitting the pavement can actually draw the energy down and allow you to be more present in your body.  So, if you find yourself a little spacey (and no offense to yogis everywhere, but a lot of us are), head out for a nice walk or run and see how that changes your outlook.

©      Running or walking can be a meditation.  I found myself running along the trail at Percy Warner Park recently repeating one of my kundalini mantras to myself and then out loud as I ran along.  Sat-ah-nam-ah, sat-ah-nam-ah, sat-ah-nam-ah….ooohhh…I feel better already!  Other things I’ve practiced on my runs were breathing in for a certain number of steps and then out for a certain number of steps.

©      Running naturally deepens the breath and helps to expand lung capacity.  So, if you find yourself struggling with the deep breathing exercises in yoga, head out on the trail or the road and notice how deep you have to breathe as you increase your heart rate.

©      Running can get you out in nature.  I have recently taken up trail running.  It is the most amazing things I have done for myself.  Running on the road is fun and all, but running in nature gives me a high that I have never found anywhere else in my life.  And who doesn’t need to spend more time in nature??

©      Running allows you to see things you may not notice otherwise.  Look up at the sky or at that beautiful tree as you run by.  Oh, I’ve never noticed that house or the way the hill slopes down to that beautiful creek.  Talk about being present…I have found myself so present in life on so many of the runs I’ve taken lately.  Such a beautiful thing when you are aware of the things around you!

©     Running can free your inner child!  I love running downhill.  I go fast.  I skip over obstacles.  I open my arms out to the side as if I’m flying.  Even in my childhood, I don’t remember being that free.  I fall so in love with everything.  I giggle.  I play.  I love.

I hope you enjoy this!  I’m sure there will be more to come.  Go forth and run, yoga, and love!