To expand on that a little, you know when you're a kid, your parents teach you to rip the bandaid off quickly, because it hurts, but it's only going to hurt for a second instead of the whole time you're pulling at it trying to get it off if you go slowly. When I see an area for growth, I jump in feet first, hit the ground running and figure out what's going on so that I can fix it and get on to the next opportunity. Beck and some of my other friends are slow pullers, which makes it a little more gentle when you're processing life really, but I haven't been able to embrace this style of dealing with life's lessons yet.
The past couple of weeks have been especially difficult for me, with a lot of new experiences, a lot of life lessons, a lot of communication lessons and a lot of tests. I've been racing through them, pausing briefly at the end of each to celebrate the little victories and "unpack" with friends. A lot of my patterns have been presented to me on a dull silver platter for me to look at and decide whether to make a change in the way I approach them to stop the cycle of repeating the same patterns over and over and over and over...you get the point...or continue dealing with them in the same way over and over and over and over... One of the biggest patterns I want to share with you here is my tendency to leave before I get left. You know when you have a disagreement with an acquaintance, coworker or boss, or maybe even a close friend, and you look at something they said and think, "I don't need this in my life." I've been doing that a lot, and my reaction is typically to cut and run, literally removing them from my life and my mind. As I looked at this reaction and this pattern of leaving, I started to realize that usually I'm scared that they're mad at me or that I did something wrong or even worse, that I'm not "enough" and that they're going to leave me for it. So, my pattern is to get scared and leave them before they can leave me.
I have a friend in my life who I've been wanting to connect with on a deeper level who I had such an experience with a couple weeks ago. We had a miscommunication that led to some more miscommunication and non-communication that brought up a lot of fear and anger for me. When I was experiencing the urge to cut and run, I had an epiphany that this is a pattern that I need to take a closer look at. Maybe take a different direction, choose a different path. So I did. Instead of removing her from my facebook, my contact list and my life, I chose to dig a little deeper. I chose to communicate with her about my anger. I didn't do it in the best way, but I was lucky enough to be doing this work with someone who was strong and centered in her Self and centered in love. It was not the best time in her life to help me through this challenge, but she did it anyway. We stayed. We dug deep. We felt the icky feelings, and I came out the other side with a deeper love and respect for her and for myself.
I learned so many lessons out of this situation! I learned to stay. I learned a little more about how to dig deep. I learned to have patience that sometimes other people don't process things the same way or quite as fast as I do or even as fast as I would like them to. I learned compassion in dealing with others and learned better how to communicate a little more gently with someone I love. Some people walk when I run. But maybe they're still walking when I'm crawling and trying to get back on my feet. I'm probably going to mess this up again at some point, but I'm so grateful for these lessons to refer back to when I need them.
As I'm writing this, I'm even realizing how much this relates to my schedule, too. This past week was so full of activity! Not in a bad way or a good way, just full. It felt a little chaotic at times, rushing from one thing to the next, hoping I wasn't late, but being gentle on myself when I was, and today I feel like crawling.
I hope you don't mind, but I want to take a minute to relive some of the blessed moments I've had over the last week. I didn't have a lot of time this week to really appreciate all of the amazing things I got to experience. It really started on Sunday, when I went to breakfast with my parents, my grandmother and my handsome nephew. I always love spending time with him and getting to know him a little better. He's definitely an old soul and far beyond his three years in how smart he is. I have so much love for my family!
Monday, I got to babysit for two more of my favorite kiddos, Beck's niece and nephew. When I hang out with these kids, I get to experience the joy that comes along with being a kid and even step back into those shoes where everything is amazing and beautiful and joyful. We played on the swing set, ran, hid, seeked, played in the water, hunted for Indian coins, and laughed at some silly cartoons before they brushed their teeth and we all three crowded into a twin bed to read their favorite books.
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| Action shot of M&D hunting for Indian coins |
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| Paw Patrol Cake - chocolate cake with chocolate filling, buttercream frosting and fondant decorations! |
On Wednesday, I got to teach yoga to some of my favorite private clients, a couple who let me take care of their physical, spiritual and emotional well-being for an hour when they're home from their busy travel schedules. Hayley and Tyler are two of the most beautiful, compassionate and kind people I've had the honor of meeting in this lifetime. After that, I pampered myself with a Onement treatment from Ataana and a restorative yoga class with one of my favorite teachers before dinner with a new friend.
Thursday was a day full of love and excitement as I subbed back-to-back classes at Kali Yuga Yoga and taught a style of yoga that is sometimes very difficult for me but felt amazing this week, full of vibrancy and laughter. In between classes, I got to have tea with one of my students and got to connect with another yogi in the sunshine over common interests and shared beliefs. Thursday evening, I went with Beck to a Sounds baseball game to surprise a friend for her birthday. The new stadium is beautiful and the weather was perfect for a night game. It was such a great night full of love and laughter and the delight of a friend being surrounded by people who love her!
This morning has been a great time for writing as I rest on the couch of the house where I'm dog-sitting. I finished up an overdue assignment for RootsRated Nashville, which is a website and app for outdoor enthusiasts to find activities in the areas where they live or where they're visiting. I have been working on destination articles for the trail running section of the website and had a featured article due earlier this month that I finally got around to (like I said, sometimes I crawl...). It feels amazing to have another article under my belt! It is the perfect ending to such a blessed and full week, and as I reflect back on this week, I'm reminded how blessed I am that I had the courage to step out of the box and into a line of work that feels like play and has exposed me to so many amazing opportunities. I love what I do. I love being in the flow. I love letting life carry me with it where it will and the joy that those experiences bring.
Tomorrow morning is another opportunity for you to join me and Beck as we run/walk at Bicentennial Mall, maybe pausing here and there to watch the marathoners pass by. Run
There are also two weeks left in the kundalini yoga series that I'm teaching at Kali Yuga Yoga in East Nashville (http://www.kaliyugayoga.com/KundaliniIntro.html). It's at 11:30 tomorrow (4/25) and Saturday (5/2). I would love to teach you a little more about the yoga of awareness and let you experience the bliss that comes along with that. I'm also teaching my regular pitta (hot) class at 4:30 at Kali Yuga Yoga, so check out their website (http://www.kaliyugayoga.com/Marathon.html) for road closures and the best route to the studio and come on out and join us in a slow, gentle practice! Hopefully there will be no crawling tomorrow!
In looking at my schedule for next week, I'm realizing that there's not much going on. It's amazing how one week can be so full, running from one thing to the next and then the next is a nice slow crawl from one event to the other with plenty of time in between to rest and reflect.
Love to all,
Emily Rose
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